87TH OSCAR WRAP UP

THE 87TH ACADEMY AWARDS

Host: Neil Patrick Harris

Winners: Birdman or (the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Alejandro G. Inarritu, Eddie Redmayne, Julianne Moore, JK Simmons and Patricia Arquette

Notable Occurrences:
+Julianne Moore, one of the most beloved actresses alive, finally wins an Oscar
+Birdman becomes the first Best Picture winner without an editing nom since Ordinary People in 1980.
+Lady Gaga performed a tribute to the 50th anniversary of The Sound of Music, followed by Julie Andrews coming out to present Best Original Score.
+Common and John Legend get three standing ovations for their moving song "Glory" from the film Selma, which caused controversy for how it didn't get more major nominations.
+John Travolta and Idina Menzel present together, mocking Travolta's name flub from the previous year
+Patricia Arquette calls for equal pay for women in her acceptance speech.
+All 8 Best Picture nominees won at least one award.

Everything Is Awesome!

The Good:

+The opening number "Moving Pictures" with host Harris joined by Anna Kendrick and Jack Black was lovely. Despite rather mixed feelings about him, Jack Black has kind of owned every time he's been on the Oscar stage. Kendrick is as usual a welcome presence, Broadway enough without going too overeager theater kid. This was the best Harris was all night.

+Julianne Moore finally has an Oscar.

+The graphic design of the presentation was again a high point. 

+The stage was very nice and colorful, and looked like the stage at the Oscars should. I also loved those doors (I thought it was supposed to be The Grand Budapest Hotel) and how presenters came out through them. 

+In an attempt to make up for the lack of diversity, the producers got a number of presenters of color. They've been good at, at least, making the actual show more diverse.

+Patricia Arquette going full Norma Rae, setting Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez (OMG BUDDY COMEDY!?!?!?) up for this moment. I love in the second one how Meryl looks at J.Lo as if she's the only one that sees her. I'm going to ignore the comments in the press room, and yesterday morning on Twitter. 

+Graham Moore's speech was also moving, despite the controversy over just what his sexuality is.

+The music performances were good, not quite as great as last year. "Everything Is Awesome" didn't disappoint, and the cameo by Will Arnett was welcome. Rita Ora was fine, which is about the most one can hope from what a journalist once called a "human footnote". Tim McGraw was good, and Maroon 5/Adam Levine were okay. (Again, there was no chance Keira was going to perform so I don't get why people are still bitching.) Common and John Legend were really great, and the emotional reaction was one of the night's best moments. (Though in all honesty, THREE standing ovations might have been a bit much.) We love tears in the audience at the Oscars. Especially from people we wouldn't expect. Hello, Chris Pine! The staging for "Glory" was also inspired, especially when some of the musical performances under Zadan/Meron have been so stripped down. 

Chris Pine is one of those single tear people JK Simmons warned us about.

+The night's best moment was The Sound of Music tribute by Lady Gaga. Yes, musical tributes have gotten old under these producers. They bring the show to a screeching halt, and this one coming so late in the show may have not been the smartest choice. That aside, Gaga brought it. This was one of her best performances, and it was apparently the night's most tweeted about moment. What's even more insane is that the reaction was (rightfully) mostly positive. I hope Gaga uses this surge in goodwill wisely. 

+That, followed by Julie Andrews was just perfect. Finally, a big film legend! The reaction from the audience was great. They all turned into Viola Davis and Allison Janney reacting Prince at the Globes. I think I was a little buzzed at that point in the night, so I was losing it too. Moments like Andrews appearing and the audience freaking out are exactly why I love the Oscars. More stuff like that, please!

+They were really good at showcasing the filmmakers when their films won. In particular, Wes Anderson got a lot of camera time and looked very happy for his people.

+The Adele Dazeem redemption moment was so creepy/wonderful/terrifying. It probably should be under "the Bad" but trainwreck moments are always welcome. And in that regard, Terrence Howard losing it over The Imitation Game (?????) was also a, uh, moment. I guess. And Chloe Grace Moretz being very Chloe Grace Moretz and having her hands in her pockets while presenting. After almost tripping at the SAGs, Naomi Watts bumped the mic. She should host the Oscars next year, but the theater would probably burn down 15 minutes into the show. Nicole would be outside telling everyone running by "Told you fuckers this would happen!"

+Bravo to the winners who fought the good fight and stood up to being played off. 

+Steve Carell saying he was excited to see Edward Norton when Neil was trying to rip Ellen off by being in the audience was funny.

+The LEGO Oscars popping up throughout the show. I loved that Emma Stone was holding hers when her clip played. I think some people looked happier to have a LEGO Oscar than a real Oscar. Oprah is probably convinced hers is real.

Channing should have a real one for Foxcatcher, damn it! I'm a gentleman, so I won't photoshop a cock in this pic.

It'll be real soon enough, darling.

The Bad:

+Pretty much everything NPH-related after "Moving Pictures". Yikes. Again, like Seth MacFarlane, the solution to people not laughing at your jokes isn't laughing at them yourself. I hesitate to even call them jokes. I think he had about 2 or 3 good lines throughout the evening. And also like Seth, no one in that room was on his side. When he made the "Oprah is rich" joke (OMG HAHAHAHA) that was probably when he lost the crowd for good, and it was like less than 10 minutes into the show? 

+Introducing Jennifer Aniston and David Oyelowo as "people that definitely deserve to be here" or whatever the fuck he said is really fucking low.

+Oyelowo, Chiwetel and Robbie really aren't that hard to pronounce.

+The severe lack of star power. Okay, I honestly don't have a problem with most of the people there, but about half of the presenters were people you get to present a Short. I know a lot of stars won't go unless they are nominated, and every producer said getting presenters is the hardest part of the show. That doesn't mean you get Terrence Howard. Also, can award shows cool it with John Travolta, Jennifer Lopez and Kerry Washington. These people show up to the opening of an envelope.

+STOP. PLAYING. PEOPLE. OFF. You guys did such a great job of this last year, only one person almost got played off. Not this year. I loved that Ida's director put his foot down and stayed and they eventually stopped the music. Also, when a person wins for a movie about veterans committing suicide, you might want to just let them speak. You also might want to refrain from making a joke immediately afterward, Neil. The producers comments in the weeks leading up to the show seem to indicate that they are flustered over having to let people give acceptance speeches. Like, THAT'S WHAT THIS FUCKING SHOW IS ABOUT!!!! I also loved how in the foreign language film presentation Nicole Kidman more or less booked a film from Pawel Pawlikowski. 

+You knew it was coming: SEAN PENN TO PRESENT BEST PICTURE?!?!?!?! We're never getting a woman doing this without Jack Nicholson being with her, are we? Ugh.

+Some of the presenter pairings were odd. Jessica Chastain and Idris Elba were great. But Chris Pratt and Felicity Jones???? Also, the presenters for the music: Marion Cotillard presents "Everything Is Awesome", while Josh Hutcherson presents "Grateful" and Dakota Johnson introduces "Lost Stars". I feel like everyone is one off from the one they were supposed to present. 

Sienna deserves an award for standing next to Chris and refraining from sitting on his face.

+Stop having people present categories when their film is nominated in that category. This happened several times throughout the night. 

+Why weren't any of the Honorary Oscar recipients there? I really hope they couldn't attend and not they weren't invited. 

+The Best Picture triple pack. I bitched about it the past 2 years, and here I am again. It was really awkward when Liam Neeson presented The Grand Budapest Hotel and American Sniper. Because those two have so much in common.

+No selfie/pizza moment. Instead, we got a box. Poor Octavia Spencer. I liked the jokes on social media that Gwyneth Paltrow's head would be in the box. The "joke" - was it even that? - did not pay off at all. What's really frustrating about it is I distinctly remember NPH being interviewed after last year's Oscars and him saying that the pizza bit went on too long. I'm really glad we rushed winners off the stage so we could keep going back to that stupid gag.
+The severe lack of (intentional) comedy (that was actually funny). Again, third year in a row the producers abstained from funny people. Why not Chris Rock or Kristen Wiig? Zach Galifianakis was in Birdman and he was the funniest thing about the SAGs?

+And something else I'll say for the third year in a row: while the graphics were gorgeous, we need to see some clips of the non-acting categories. I don't like everything being reduced to a title card, no matter how pretty it might be. 

I think after the low ratings and NPH widely being touted as a failure, this is the last year of Zadan/Meron. *fingers crossed*

Ladies and gentleman, an actual celebrity!

Cate does not need to see your O face, Eddie.

As for Best Dressed...

I'm gonna go with Rosamund. She pulled it together for the big one, and she's bringing some Grace Kelly face to the red carpet. The back is a little too saloon girl, so I'll just focus on the front. It was a lackluster night for fashion.

I also liked Reese Witherspoon and Anna Kendrick, though I'm not wild (har har!) about Reese's hair.

Also like Jennifer Aniston and Julianne Moore, though Julianne's only looks good from the waist up. It kinda looks like a body cast.

 

All that said, if Amy Adams had been on the red carpet and not just at the Vanity Fair party in this dress, I would have easily named her Best Dressed:

I'm too good for this year's Oscars. See you next year, mofos!

BEST DRESSED COUPLE:
Best Dressed as in I want to hang with them.
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris

WORST DRESSED: I really don't hate any one look. I'm going with Jessica Chastain because she looked so fucking amazeballs at the Globes, then shows up in this basic mess. Such a boring look, and she had such a high just a month and a half ago. This looks like something someone in 8th row in the third balcony is wearing.

A few random comments about the fashion. Zoe Saldana's post(?) pregnancy bod looks so curvy and hot. Margot Robbie looked like an evil step-mother on a bad soap opera. Meryl Streep looked amazing, and the black and white works for her. Patricia Arquette probably went for a similar vibe. Jennifer Lopez needs to stop with the dresses that make it look like she's trying very hard to show you she's trying very hard to not show her nipples. (That makes sense!) Every dress she wears almost looks the same. Marion Cotillard looks gorgeous from the front, like she's taking a dump from the back. Kerry Washington looked great, which is nice cause she usually is such a disappointment. Keira Knightley and Felicity Jones are about on par with all their other looks this season. Emma Stone would be on my Best Dressed list, but something about it just doesn't work. And I agree it looks like bacteria up close. I appreciate what Lupita Nyong'o is going for, but it doesn't entirely

Travolta says Hi to his buddy Sarlock Jorgenson. 

work. Her party dress was awesome, though. Laura Dern looked kind of amazing and sexy and scary, but it looks like something from a S&M medieval fantasy. Oprah looks nice, but it doesn't feel like an Oscar dress. Sienna Miller looks okay, but it's not an Oscar dress and her face looks..uh..new? Not liking Naomi Watts' gray brick thing. I like Jamie Chung's dress. Lady Gaga - it would look amazing if it had a different style. And why the gloves?!?!? Adam Levine's model wife looks amazing, and she gets bonus point for dealing with how insufferable he must be. Rita Ora = bleh. Though her party dress was a laughable disaster. Scarlett Johansson - I like it, but the necklace thing overwhelms everything. That might be the point. And it looks like she's cosplaying Miley Cyrus. Or are they the same person now? Nicole Kidman looks good, but she's looked much better in the past several years. Gwyneth Paltrow looks like a flower's vagina is trying to overthrow her head. I don't care for Chrissy Tiegen, but that dress would look amazing if it weren't so Adult Video Awards. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill look weird. He's way too thin now and the short haircut ages her. Viola Davis needs to bring back her award season style from 3 years ago.

And that about does it for AWARD SEASON. It's been fun, as always!

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER. NO, YOU CAN HAS OZCAR.