87TH OSCAR WINNERS

BEST PICTURE: BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE)
BEST DIRECTING: ALEJANDRO G. INARRITU - BIRDMAN
BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: EDDIE REDMAYNE - THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING
BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: JULIANNE MOORE - STILL ALICE
BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: JK SIMMONS - WHIPLASH
BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: PATRICIA ARQUETTE - BOYHOOD
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: BIRDMAN
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: THE IMITATION GAME
BEST FILM EDITING: WHIPLASH
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: BIRDMAN
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: "GLORY" - SELMA
BEST SOUND MIXING: WHIPLASH
BEST SOUND EDITING: AMERICAN SNIPER
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: INTERSTELLAR
BEST DOCUMENTARY: CITIZENFOUR
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: IDA
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: BIG HERO 6
BEST ANIMATED SHORT: FEAST
BEST SHORT - LIVE ACTION: THE PHONE CALL
BEST SHORT - DOCUMENTARY: CRISIS HOTLINE VETERANS PRESS 1

I went 18/24 I think.

I figured this would be my first complaint but its worth mentioning over and over: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR A WOMAN TO PRESENT BEST PICTURE???? Really, you get Sean Penn who hates the Academy and everything that it stands for? (But exactly like Joaquin Phoenix still attends every event.) Whatevs.

The show was exactly as I predicted, somewhere between last year and the year before. Some moments soared (the last hour was pretty much perfect) and others fell flat (NPH got one of the most tepid reactions from the Kodak audience outside of Seth). And OMG if you seriously thought the North Korea gag from the Globes was never ending, NPH decided to do that stupid locked box magic shit. Poor Octavia. Oh, also producers: really glad you think it's a good idea to start playing a woman off when she's talking about her son who committed suicide.

Gaga absolutely killed it. I mean, that was one of her best performances and then it followed by Julie Andrews. Perfection.

As for NPH, he started strong. The "Moving Pictures" with Kendrick and Black was great, then he completely fell flat. He's not funny, and you could tell the audience was over him almost instantly. Particularly Oprah who looked really unimpressed.

Patricia Arquette is leading the feminist revolution and Meryl and J.Lo are right with her. Chris Pine is doing a single tear for "Glory". SJW UNITE!

I could go on and on, but I'll save it for my super Oscar post tomorrow or Tuesday.