This year, I'm accepting my own challenge of doing the Universal Monsters Movies. There are 30 in the box set, so I'm gonna try to get as many as possible. I'll also do most of the Critters films, some Hitchcock, some Carpenter, the last Wes Craven theatrical release I haven't seen, and some anniversary rewatches - with an emphasis on 1996 & 2001 fitting with my theme for the year.
First entry includes some recent theatrical/streaming/Shudder titles, and lesser known 70s/80s stuff - all first time watches.
A BAY OF BLOOD
(Mario Bava, 1971)
After a wealthy woman is murdered and her death staged as a suicide, more bodies pile up as various people vie for her estate. This is considered to be one of the original slasher movies with a body count, sort of a slasher Knives Out. It's only 80 minutes and feels padded even for that, with characters introduced with little explanation. There are several cuts of this, so maybe one of the other ones explains things. GRADE: C+
CADDO LAKE
(Logan George & Celine Held, 2024)
I didn't know this was produced by M. Night Shyamalan, but guessed it was halfway through. A man who recently lost his mother in a car accident discovers a young girl in a Louisiana swamp. As her family looks for her, the narratives come together in unexpected ways. Strong performances by Dylan O'Brien (yum) and Eliza Scanlen propel this. The subgenre that's revealed in the second act is one of my least favorite, but it works here. GRADE: B
CAST A DEADLY SPELL
(Martin Campbell, 1991)
I hadn't even heard of this prior to it being recommended by some of the YouTube horror community. It was an HBO Movie directed by future Bond and Zorro helmer Campbell. In an alternate 1940's LA where magic reigns, a private eye (Fred Ward) investigates the disappearance of a book that could lead to the end of the world. Not bad, but basically a lesser Lord of Illusions with a little bit of Bogart noir thrown in. Good production design for a TV movie, and I must reiterate as I did with my Tremors rewatch from last year that Ward was an absolute snack. With Julianne Moore, Clancy Brown, and David Warner. GRADE: C+
CHOPPING MALL
(Jim Wynorski, 1986)
Very 80's B-movie with a roster of genre faves, this focuses on malfunctioning security robots terrorizing the horny teen employees of a supermall. Remember malls? Remember movies with horny teens? This is pretty fun, if very slight - another one that doesn't even hit a runtime of 80 minutes. I found out that about 20 minutes was cut after poor test screenings, but I guess the original cut has been lost. With Kelli Maroney and Barbara Crampton. GRADE: B-
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
(Stanley Kubrick, 1971)
Would you believe I've never seen this? A gang of wild youths wreaks havoc across England, one gets arrested and is put through an experimental treatment to fix him. Funnily enough, while watching I realized I never knew what this was actually about. I guess I just thought it was something like Funny Games, which is pretty much just the first act. Pretty shocking even 55 years later, I think more people should talk about how great Malcolm McDowell is here. Top notch cinematography and production design, expected for Kubrick. GRADE: A-
THE DARKEST HOUR
(Chris Gorak, 2011)
No, not the Oscar winner with Gary Oldman. A group of young Americans who met at a Moscow club might fight off an alien invasion - an invisible enemy that uses a lightning-esque current to wipe out humanity. The film has that specific dated look of a movie that was shot in 3D from that era. (Did I really just refer to 2011 as that era? Oof.) Completely unremarkable, it might have been okay to see on the big screen with the 3D effects in place. Emile Hirsch, Olivia Thirlby, and Joel Kinnaman star. GRADE: C-
GRADUATION DAY
(Herb Freed, 1981)
From the era where we got a slasher for every single holiday! A killer slashes teenagers on their graduation day several months after a popular track star randomly died of a heart attack at a meet. There's way too much time spent on the rituals of graduation day and for long stretches the film seems to forget it's a slasher. A limp whodunit with okay kills, the most interesting bit about this film may have been Vanna White plays one of the teens. GRADE: C
GRIZZLY
(William Girdler, 1976)
I'm not sure if this was a Jaws knockoff given it opened only a year after, but they certainly knew how to pump out B pictures at a fast pace in those days. An 18 foot grizzly is killing the visitors and rangers of a giant national park, and three men must unite to try and stop the bloodthirsty animal. Surprisingly violent, certainly silly, but still mostly a fun time. There's a sequel that was made in the early 80's that featured Charlie Sheen, Laura Dern, and George Clooney, and was actually never fully finished until a few years back. GRADE: B-
HABIT
(Larry Fessenden, 1997)
In this very 90's NYC indie drama, a man spiraling after his father's death meets a mysterious woman at a Halloween party and the two begin a relationship. Soon, he finds his appetite changing and starts to suspect she may have turned him into a vampire. Fessenden is a big name in both the indie and horror worlds, and I've enjoyed most of his output. This is rough and messy very much the way independent filmmaking used to be, feeling sort of mumblecore before that was a thing. GRADE: B+
HELL HOUSE LLC
(Stephen Cognetti, 2015)
This is part of a successful (I assume?) franchise that has four other installments, but I doubt I'll be checking any of them out. While it does have some effective moments, there's just too many cliches of the recovered digital footage genre of recent years. A group of friends buys an old hotel with plans to turn it into a haunted attraction, but things don't go as planned. GRADE: C
HOPE
(Na Hong-jin, 2026)
I found out after watching that this is supposed to be the first installment of a planned trilogy, which explains the rather abrupt ending. It's already epic length (160 minutes!) but I'm not sure there is enough material here to sustain two more movies when this already feels stretched. In a remote town, police officers and union members team up to stop a violent alien invasion. It has some exhilarating sequences and likeable characters, but the effects are wildly inconsistent. I also didn't know the three English-speaking names billed in the advertising were playing the aliens. GRADE: B-
KING KONG
(John Guillermin, 1976)
One of the most expensive films of its time, this modern remake of the classic monster movie follows a paleontologist (Jeff Bridges) sneaking about a ship looking for petroleum on a desolate island. The crew along with a beautiful shipwreck survivor (Jessica Lange, she sure was pretty!) encounter the legendary large ape. While Kong is obviously a dude in a costume, most of the practical effects have aged well. Other than that, there's little energy and everything proceeds in a perfunctory fashion. I know it's not technically part of the Universal Monster canon, but I should watch the original at some point. GRADE: C+
NIGHT PATROL
(Ryan Prows, 2026)
The battle between the Black residents of the projects and the LAPD is given a twist when a cop must protect his younger brother who was framed by the police in a murder. And the cops are also vampires. It never quite delivers the genre thrills it should and everything goes down about the way you think it will. The plot would be good fodder for a symbolic thriller, but the execution just doesn't work. Between this and Scream 6, Dermot Mulroney doesn't understand how to act in these movies. GRADE: C
ONSLAUGHT
(Adam Wingard, 2026)
I was a huge fan of Wingard's The Guest and thought it was one of the best of 2014, so I was looking forward to this. Some thought it might be a direct sequel or at least set in the same world, but neither is the case. While that film wore its influences on its sleeve, it at least still felt like its own thing whereas this just feels like a pastiche of references. Scientific experiments lead to the creation of an army of elite killing machines that escape containment and unleash on the residents of a nearby trailer park. I'm firmly on Adria Arjona's team and think she should be the next Wonder Woman, but she's wasted here. Worse are the extended cameos by Rebecca Hall and Dan Stevens, two characters that should have been given more screen time. Nice seeing Reginald VelJohnson. Good cinematography, though! GRADE: C+
THE PROWLER
(Joseph Zito, 1981)
In 1945, a WWII veteran kills a couple after the woman breaks up with him, and returns 35 years later to embark on a murder spree during a college graduation dance. (Was there not a holiday this could all take place during?) Probably one of the better of the lesser known slashers from the 1980's, it's not quite too generic and has a memorable story even if the second half of the movie is mostly a long chase sequence. Also, cool killer design. I'm surprised this never had a sequel or remake. GRADE: B
RED ROOMS
(Pascal Plante, 2024)
This might be one of the definitive movies about the current era we live in, certainly the best film to incorporate the modern social media landscape since Zola. A young model has an unhealthy obsession with the trial of a murderer accused of killing three teenage girls and broadcasting the deaths to the internet. The fascination with true crimes, the dark web, serial killer groupies, bitcoin - it's all here. I'm not familiar with either of the actresses, but both were stellar. As someone who has served jury duty three times, the courtroom scenes felt very realistic. Now, if you excuse me, I need a Silkwood shower. Starring Juliette Gariépy and Laurie Babin. GRADE: A-
RETURN TO SILENT HILL
(Christophe Gans, 2026)
Oof, I'm just not having this franchise. I don't play video games so I have no affinity for it, but I pretty much hated both previous films. At least the first one had great production design, though this installment seemingly abandons that film's visual style. A man return to Silent Hill after receiving a letter from his lost love. Hinks ensure. Jeremy Irvine, completely miscast, stars. GRADE: D
SACCHARINE
(Natalie Erika James, 2026)
A medical student battling weight issues takes an experimental medication that she discovers is actually human bone ash. As the pounds begin falling off, she finds herself haunted by the ghost of the remains she's ingesting. I wish this had gone a bit more into a weight loss body horror film, instead of a standard haunting/possession. While some have compared it to The Substance and The Ugly Stepsister, I think that's a rather surface level reading. James directed the solid Relic from a few years back, and lead actress Midori Francis is very good. GRADE: B-
SALEM'S LOT
(Gary Dauberman, 2024)
My review of the original TV movie here. I wasn't a big fan, but it's better than this which debuted on HBO Max. There is one really cool scene that takes place in silhouette. Other than that, standard vampire fare and doesn't have much reason to exist. In a small Maine town, a writer returns home to write his next novel and finds the town overrun by vampires. A decent cast - Lewis Pullman, Alfre Woodard, namely - can't save it. GRADE: C
SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE
(Carol Frank, 1986)
You'd think a movie with that title would be fun, but alas... I think I always confused this with Slumber Party Massacre, which I have yet to see. Worth noting this one of the few slashers of the era to be directed by a woman, though sadly this feels too much like a direct to VHS film and never really finds an identity of its own. A sorority pledge finds that her new house seems familiar, and soon must fend off a killer she has a connection to. GRADE: C-
THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD
(Christian Nyby, 1951)
I reviewed Carpenter's masterpiece remake here, and that film's prequel here, so now I get to complete the trifecta and watch the film that inspired them. In the Arctic, a group of scientists discovers a saucer buried in the ice and soon come face to face with the alien inhabitant. This has too many characters for a film that runs under 90 minutes, but it's such a fun early science fiction yarn. Dewey Martin was such a cutie as Bob. GRADE: B+
THIS IS NOT A TEST
(Adam MacDonald, 2026)
Let's make the zombie equivalent of The Breakfast Club and take away any charm or thrills of either of those. A group of teens (everyone looks to be pushing 30) hides out in their high school during the zombie apocalypse, with the main girl (Olivia Holt) struggling to stay alive while being depressed about the death of her sister. Way too dour with too many zombie cliches. Featuring two hot gay actors - Luke MacFarlane and Froy Gutierrez, who sadly do not get it on with each other. GRADE: D+
WHISTLE
(Corin Hardy, 2026)
A troubled teen (Logan's Dafne Keen) moves to a new school where she and a group of friends discovers an ancient cursed whistle that summons death to anyone who hears it. That's not a bad logline, and the result isn't too different than your average Final Destination sequel. The characters are ultimately too forgettable, and Keen doesn't quite have what it takes to make a compelling Final Girl. (Though her look at the end is jaw dropping.) Good fall vibes movies, though. GRADE: B-


















































