They were nice enough to actually have a decent set of nominees this year. And I'm bored. So, why not?
+Rebel Wilson does an okay job with her opening and monologue. Better than Seth at the Oscars. The Pitch Perfect cast does a nice job, but where is Anna Kendrick? The lead male from that movie is so cute and (sorry!) adorkable.
+Melissa McCarthy presents the first award BEST MALE PERFORMANCE to BRADLEY COOPER - SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. The random shots in the audience produce nothing great, most people look bored. By most people, I mean Emma Watson, Jamie Foxx and Bradley Cooper. There is apparently no one else there. Bradley gives a speech about veterans commiting suicide which lands like a led balloon with the audience. Stay classy, MTV!
+Kim Kardashian is there for some unknown fucking reason. Any respect MTV got from a solid slate of nominees has officially been shit on.
+Rebel returns to talk more about Channing Tatum's dick and ass. Nice change of pace from talking about how awful women are like at the Oscars.
+Chris Rock and Adam Sandler (clearly finding themselves more funny than anyone there) present BEST WTF? MOMENT to JAMIE FOXX AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON - DJANGO UNCHAINED. Not sure why that is WTF? but yeah. Jamie is wearing a Trayvon Martin shirt.
+We can text to vote for the winners. I ACTUALLY JUST VOTED!!!! OMG I'M SO A TWEEN!!! I've never text voted for anything. And what did I vote for? SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK!!!
+I should probably watch Awkward. Everytime I've seen an episode I thought it was awesome. And Beau Mirchoff is HOT! Yes, I really have turned into a 12 year old girl while watching this.
+Ad for The Real World: Portland. Hey, remember when they show explored class and sex differences? Yeah, it lasted like 2 seasons. Now, it's just people hopping into bed or fucking in front of the cameras. Great.
+Pine, Saldana and Quinto (I'm 90% sure all three are somewhat gay) present BEST FIGHT. Django or Avengers should probably win. (Wow, Chris Pine looks REALLY fucking gay.) AVENGERS wins. Tom Hiddleston (who is not Eddie Redmayne) and Chris Evans (yummyyummy) accept along with Joss Whedon!!!!! And Samuel L. Jackson!!!!
+Eddie Redmayne (who is not Tom Hiddleston) presents the TRAILBLAZER AWARD to another Emma, Watson that is. Stone got it last year. OMG I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR BLING RING!!! OMGOMGOMG!! BLING RING!!! She was really beguilling in Perks of Being a Wallflower! OMG THEY SHOWED THE SHOT OF HER JUMPING IN BLING RING!!! Now, Logan Lerman (looking sickly?) is talking about Emma. Oh yeah, they will be in Noah too! Jonah Hill sends in a clip announcing that he and Emma will star in the screen adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey. I bet people will take this seriously cause they are always that fucking stupid. Aww, they play Bowie's "Heroes" as she accepts. LOL - Quvenzhane Wallis was not clapping for her. Emma just referred to herself as the Eager Beaver. Aww, she's saying she was an overachiever who always raised her hand first. See, there's nothing wrong with that, you Hathahaters!
+"Pain and Gain" ad. Nice job of Michael Bay turning some serial killers into goofy heroes in his movies.
+I find Macklemore sexy.
+Why do Will Smith and his son have those weird accents in After Earth trailer?
+LOL Technical glitch. Rebel now shows a montage of her scenes that were cut from films from 2012. Les Miserables - this is really funny she's singing behind Anne's "I Dreamed a Dream". Life of Pi is next. Magic Mike!
+Steve Carell and Amanda Seyfried present BEST KISS! Aww, they are playing the Brokeback score to Best Kiss! Hope Moonrise or Silver wins! BRADLEY COOPER and JENNIFER LAWRENCE win! I wonder who that guy sitting next to Bradley is. He's with him a lot! Just sayin.
+Snoop Lion (?) and Ke$ha (????) present some Macklemore and Ryan Lewis! Samuel L. Jackson is enjoying this performance.
+"What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" Have a crappy reality show on E! To be fair, is there such a thing as a good reality show on E!? No.
+HAHA Loved Rebel's dig at Russell Crowe and his new movie -"Pitch Not Perfect". OMG! Her koala bear just got in Chris Evans crotch. Smart bear. OMG! THE KIDS FROM MOONRISE!!! They look so grown up. Is that Aubrey Plaza with her "gay boyfriend" from "Parks and Recreation"???
+Peter Dinklage presents COMEDIC GENIUS award to Will Ferrell. LOL - Will's outfit. Nice. Anytime they do a faraway shot of the stage, it looks like its from another room. WTF was that bit with Aubrey??? Thud!
+Fast 6 or whatever its called cast presents BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE. Can you believe Paul Walker is almost 40? Jesus, I'm old. Michelle Rodriguez is strangely good at presenting. I can't believe how strong this category is this year. It should always be strong but MTV somehow fucked it up for the past 12 years or so. REBEL WILSON wins!!!! Her Pitch Perfect costars are very happy as it Quvenzhane. LOL YOU CAN't HEAR HER. CUZ THE FAST 6 PEOPLE WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP. They need to stop cutting to Anna Camp. Zac Efron, Seth Rogen and Danny McBride present SHIRTLESS PERFORMANCE. Cue obvious joke. Seth shows his fake pubes and Quvenzhane's mom covers up her eyes. I wonder if Ted wins this as a joke. No, Taylor Lautner wins because the last Twilight movie needed something I guess. Oh no, he's going to attempt comedy. Zac Efron is not amused. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'll never see Taylor Lautner again.
+IRON MAN 3 sneak. Don't care.
+Kim Kardashian blows a kiss to the camera. And now the camera has every STD that ever existed.
+Quvenzhane Wallis and Chloe Grace Moretz present BEST VILLAIN. Chloe is wearing a denim dress. Or something. I love how Marion's nomination is a spoiler. TOM HIDDLESTON wins. Samuel L. Jackson is happy. Tom is very elegant.
+Kartrashian introduces Selena Gomez. Who is lip syncing. Bleh.
+Awesome Man of Steel spot.
+They announce that Bilbo won BEST HERO. Okay. Rebel does a cute fake nip slip.
+Kerry Washington presents GENERATION AWARD to Jamie Foxx. I can't believe he's 45-ish. His daughter is gorgeous, though.
+I'm probably the only person nonironically excited for Great Gatsby.
+Liam Hemsworth (hot, but not as hot as big brother) presents Hunger Games: Catching Fire preview. Looks good. I LOVED Liz Banks's costumes.
+MTV stars (actual actors, not reality) present MUSICAL MOMENT. PITCH PERFECT wins. Again, where is Anna Kendrick?
+World War Z's Brad Pitt presents BEST MOVIE. So, we're not doing Female Performance??? I'm guessing Lawrence won. Pitt is having fun with this. MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS wins. More Tom, Chris and happy Sam Jackson is a-okay with me even if I didn't care for their movie. Joss Whedon is a good speaker but saying "this is the award that means the most to me" when its the only thing you won is stupid. Quvenzhane is eating her popcorn.
+Well, that wasn't terrible. "If you enjoyed the show, I'm Rebel Wilson. If not, I'm Jonah Hill in a wig."
ETA: COMPLETE LIST OF WINNERS
MOVIE OF THE YEAR
“The Avengers”
BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
Jennifer Lawrence – “Silver Linings Playbook”
BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
Bradley Cooper – “Silver Linings Playbook”
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
Rebel Wilson – “Pitch Perfect”
BEST SCARED-AS-S**T PERFORMANCE
Suraj Sharma – “Life of Pi”
BEST ON-SCREEN DUO
Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane — "Ted"
BEST SHIRTLESS PERFORMANCE
Taylor Lautner — "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
BEST FIGHT
Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner vs. Tom Hiddleston — "The Avengers"
BEST KISS
Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper – “Silver Linings Playbook”
BEST WTF MOMENT
Jamie Foxx and Samuel L. Jackson – “Candieland Gets Smoked” in “Django Unchained”
BEST VILLAIN
Tom Hiddleston – “The Avengers”
BEST MUSICAL MOMENT
Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Alexis Knapp, Ester Dean and Hana Mae Lee – “Pitch Perfect”
No comments:
Post a Comment