Bring it, Tina and Amy. Show Seth MacFarlane how its done.
(I'll only be checking in during commercial breaks!)
OMG THEIR JAMES CAMERON JOKE WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER. I AM CRYING AND CLAPPING AT IT.
You knew all caps were coming!
Awesome opening by them. "Nobody wants to do porn!"
FIRST WINNER - WOW CHRISTOPH WALTZ - Terrific speech. Supporting Actor is such a clust fuck. The North Star is that one. He's so charming and so much more comfortable this time.
Next Winner Is Maggie Smith, who of course is not that one. Emily Blunt was just chatting with Anne Hathaway. I love the random shots of people talking. Aww, Mery's not there. :-(
Next winners: Game Change and Julianne Moore. LOL - Catherine Zeta-Jones KNOWS how to present and ennunciate.
OMG Amy as the 6th nominee Darcy. LOL - I Love Her. She should've done that for every category.
Damien Lewis & Homeland take the next two. Rosario Dawson's name was drawn out of a hat, so she presents "Marigold Hotel". Well, she is dating Danny Boyle, and he knows Dev Patel and Dev is the only representation there for "Marigold." The old Brit vets don't bother with this. The HFPA Prez was actually funny, but dear lord is her face ever stretched tight. Mel Gibson is in the room. Bleck. Salma Hayek looked amazing, but I swear her accent gets thicker as she gets older. Her and Rudd were awkward and funny.
John Goodman and Tony Mendez (who looks like he's about to pass out) present a clip from "Argo". Well, they are not clips, they are clips from the trailer. Jason Statham and Jennifer Lopez present Score - which goes to Life of Pi. Ang Lee is happy! I am happy. Wish "Cloud Atlas" had won. LOL That woman just grabbed ahold of the winner to show him where to go. Here comes ORIGINAL SONG - COME ON ADELE!!! AND SHE WINS!!!!!! Daniel Craig is happy. Wow Jason Statham is short. TAYLOR SWIFT is not amused. Adele's speech is awesome. Yeah, I know speeches don't mean inevitable wins at other award shows, but she's soooooo winning the Oscar.
Taylor Swift is probably going to write a song about the Golden Globes breaking her heart. I'm sick of this Sofia Vergara Pepsi commercial.
LOL - I love that Dax Shepherd is sitting behind the "Lincoln" table. Bill Clinton presents that film. Kevin Costner wins with a rambling nice speech. Tina Fey dressed as one of the fake nominees - LOVE IT.
OMFGOAOSMOMASDFOMASG. WIIG AND FERREL..
You guys.
I have not laughed that hard in forever. Seriously, tears running down my face. Trying to bury my face in a pillow from not laughing out loud. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds? Holy shit, I am dying. There's Tommy Lee Jones being a humorless prick during the whole thing. God, to think no matter what happens Anne Hathaway will end up the most hated person no matter what she does but TLJ sits there during THAT and can't crack a smile. JESUS. THAT WAS SERIOUSLY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MOMEMTS IN AWARD SHOW HISTORY. Kristen and Will, you guys rock. Jennifer Lawrence, no surprise, takes the award. Nice speech, thanking Harvey for whoever he had to kill to get her there. OMG, this was the greatest segment of the night. Tears still on my face.
Pregnant Bell and Krasinski present Supporting Actor TV. Max Greenfield is so cute. Ed Harris wins. And is not there. Jamie Foxx presents Django. Jonah Hill and Megan Fox present SUPPORTING ACTRESS. To Anne, no doubt. Anne takes it and gives a nice, long speech. She does need to be a little more brief, but her shout-out to Sally was just so lovely.
Amanda Seyfriend (who is very enthusiastic) and Pattinson present Screenplay to TARANTINO! Surprise. That's a major shock. Jeremy Irons presents Salmon Fishing. Blunt and McGregor know its a joke. Lucy Liu and Don Cheadle present TV Comedy Actor to Don Cheadle???? Surprise. Salma Hayek was really happy about that. Jonah Hill was laughing really hard and Jessica Alba was sucking up to Harvey on the way to commercial.
Tina and Amy need to be brought back. I have a headache from Ferrell/Wiig still. I'm loving it, though.
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Swarzaneggar (yeah, neither of those is probably spelled correctly) present Foreign Film to Michael Haneke. Surreal. Nathan Fillion and Orange Lea Michelle present Actress - TV Drama to Claire Danes. Michelle Dockery looks like Keira Knightley crossed with Melanie Lynskey. TV Comedy Actress is next segment. Hopefully, Tina and Amy do some shenanigans.
Sacha Baron Cohen presents Animated Feature to Brave. (?!??!!) I guess that was default winner. Cohen made some okay jokes including referencing Crowe's bad singing and Hathaway's wardrobe malfunction. Liev Schrieber (still HOT AS FUCK perhaps even more than ever) presents LIFE OF PI. Ang looked really happy. Jason Bateman and Aziz Ansari present TV Comedy Actress. LOL TINA AND AMY AGAIN ARE HILARIOUS. Tina's with J-Lo and Amy's sitting on Clooney's lap. Lena Dunham wins. Lena can't walk in that dress at all.
Tina and Amy come back and destroy. Bashing Lena and Taylor. (jokingly) Jodie has Mel next to her. Robert Downey Jr is being really funny presenting Jodie her lifetime whatever award. So I agree with what people are saying online that it made her career look very unremarkable? LOL She just mentioned spanking Daniel Craig's bottom. And she also almost came out, but she's lecturing us now? Yeah, I don't know what to make of that speech. The part about her mother was really touching but the rest was all over the place? Dunno. It made all the women in the audience cry. Me too, a little. But still pretty bizarre.
Halle Berry presents Directing. LOL Joaquin Phoenix is there! HAHAH BEN WINS!LOL - Standing O. Of course. Jennifer Lopez was standing too. Spielberg looked kinda mad? LOL BEN is really rushing. Josh Brolin presents Moonrise Kingdom. I forgot it was even nominated, which is sad. Bill Murray is there and looks like he just came from a boat. I'M ON A BOAT! Amy and Tina are back, no joke this time. Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon present TV COMEDY. (Lol, Smash) GIRLS wins.
LOL I still can't stop thinking about Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell. Nothing will top that. Ever.
Christian Bale presents Silver Linings Playbook. Jennifer Garner Affleck finishes her husbands speech. And presents Actor Comedy/Musical to Hugh Jackman! Wow. Taylor Swift behind him still looks unamused. Aww, Bradley looked sad. Decent speech by Hugh.
Jeremy Renner looking pretty gay. He's presenting Zero Dark Thirty. He's bleeped, like Jodie Foster. Dustin Hoffman presents Picture Comedy/Musical. Hmm, can Silver defeat Miserables? Moonrise should win this by a mile. LOL Salmon Fishing. LES MISERABLES WINS! Amanda Seyfried and Eddie Redmayne are so excited. Oh, Anne. Okay that was bad of her.
Three more awards. Clooney presents ACTRESS DRAMA. CHASTAIN wins. Yippee! Okay speech. Clooney presents ACTOR Drama to Daniel Day-Lewis, no surprise.
Julia Roberts looking awfully bland presents PICTURE DRAMA. ARGO wins. LOL I forgot Victor Garber was in it.
LOL Amy and Tina close the night by saying they are going home with Jodie Foster.
Pretty damn great Globes. Oscars have a lot to live up to.
And god damn, my headache from Will and Kristen got even bigger. Switching over to E! for post show.
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