INSIDIOUS: THE RED DOOR
(Patrick Wilson, 2023)
Limp fifth installment in the franchise, though the first is still the only good one. The film follows Dalton (Ty Simpkins) as he goes off to college, his relationship with his father strained. The two find themselves reconnecting as their visions of The Further begin to once again take hold. This is Wilson's directorial debut. Outside of a great jump scare and a hilariously campy cover of Shakespear's Sister classic power ballad "Stay" that plays over the ending credits, he and his bouncy pecs should stay in front of the camera. Dalton, as a grownup, just doesn't work as a character and his roommate was annoying. I also did not appreciate killing off Barbara Hershey and sidelining Rose Byrne. GRADE: D+
RAZORBACK
(Russell Mulcahy, 1984)
I must make it my goal to see every Aussie horror film. So far, they seem to have a good batting average. Sold as "Jaws on trotters" (I had to look up what trotters are), this killer boar film follows a New Yorker who travels to the Outback to find out what happened to his reporter girlfriend after her disappearance. There, he teams up with a hunter whose grandson was killed years earlier by a giant pig. A dingo did not eat his baby. Spectacular cinematography and great creature effects are a highlight even if the film is never as scary as it should be. With Gregory Harrison. GRADE: B
SCARE ME
(Josh Ruben, 2020)
A failed writer/director/actor rents a cabin in wintry upstate New York to work on a project where he meets a hugely successful author of a popular horror novel. During a power outage, the two decide to see who can tell the best scary story. An amusing comedy, most of the film's runtime takes place right in front of the cabin's fireplace and relies on the stellar acting of its leads (filmmaker Ruben and Aya Cash). Dropping pop culture references and utilizing as well as twisting conventions, I wish the stories they told were a bit more memorable even if the point is the way they are telling it. This, along with the director's other film Werewolves Within, are fun comedies but their premises both feel a little too calculated. I'm still not certain how I feel about the last 10 minutes. That aside, I could watch Ruben and Cash do Cryptkeeper impressions all night. Also with Chris Redd. GRADE: B
SKINAMARINK
(Kyle Edward Bell, 2023)
This joins last week's The Outwaters as a huge, frustrating disappointment for me. A VHS recorder in 1995 (I think?) captures a family during a night where strange things begin to happen. It has its fans, certainly, but this just didn't work at all for me. I'm not sure if this can even be considered found footage as its not clear what is happening or why any of it is being filmed. There is only one moment that really worked - "Look under the bed." Everything happening is so damned vague it's hard to care about anything happening. I guess it's supposed to capture the uncertainty and terror of childhood. And Legos left all over the floor. It was a short film, it should have stayed a short film. GRADE: C-
URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT
(John Ottman, 2000)
After watching the original for its 25th anniversary, I figured I'd give this a spin since I haven't seen it since theaters all those years ago. It picks up a few years after the original on a different college campus, a film school where students are vying for the coveted Hitchcock Award. One student (Jennifer Morrison) decides to make a short depicting the urban legend of "Humans Can Lick Too" (which was featured in Campfire Tales!) Final Cut has way too many characters, and most of them are annoying assholes. It's also a little too amused with its own film references. The killer now has a fencing mask instead of a parka, which doesn't really feel like an improvement. Loretta Devine returns from the original as the school's security, and she's easily the best thing about it. If they ever finally do another entry or reboot, I hope they bring her back. 80's stud Hart Bochner appears, along with Eva Mendes, Anthony Anderson, Joseph Lawrence, and the very hot Anson Mount. The end has an amusing cameo. GRADE: C+
MAY
(Lucky McKee, 2003)
And a happy 20th to this cult classic that debuted at Sundance in 2002, played at various festivals for a year and a half, and was finally released by LionsGate in the summer of 2003. Despite earning a small following since its release, it still feels underseen. When I rented it from Blockbuster, the girl behind the counter was very excited. "I just get so happy when people rent May," she told me. May is basically what would happen if Carrie had survived her prom and made it to 20's. Or if Dr. Frankenstein was an angsty Gen X-er. A veterinarian's assistant, May (Angela Bettis) is a shy, awkward girl with a lazy eye and a talent for sewing. When she meets a man (Jeremy Sisto) with beautiful hands, she falls in love. She soon discovers that people aren't really more than their parts and sets out to literally make a friend. Bettis is an absolute revelation, precise in her character work, with a complete understanding of May both as a character and as a film. Truly, one of the best performances in a horror film of the millennium. It also boasts a funny, sexy performance by Anna Faris as a co-worker. GRADE: A-
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