Horrorfest: "Does the basement have a portal to Hell?" - Me on House Hunters

THE BEYOND
(Lucio Fulci, 1981)
I saw my first Fulci 2 or 3 years ago. That was The House by the Cemetery, which I enjoyed. This film follows a young woman who inherits a house in New Orleans. Sounds good until she discovers it's built over one of the seven entrances to Hell. Cool concept, with grisly extended death sequences featuring makeup effects and gushing bloody. There's one involving a swarm of tarantulas that made me squirm. There's definitely some silliness as the film's story occasionally takes some long detours to other characters, particularly anything involving the zombies. GRADE: B

THE LURE
(Agnieszka Smoczynska, 2017)
Fantasy about two mermaids brought on land to join a musical act at an adult night club in Poland. A definite genre bender with lots of pop music, and more fish fucking than The Shape of Water. Splash, it ain't. Some of the details with the world building needed fleshing out. It's never really stated if mermaids are a big part of the world and if there are other fairy tale creatures. Also, why do they have vampire teeth when they turn? I think it would've been interesting if the sisters became a huge musical act, and what that would entail with their secret identity. The music is very catchy, though, and the film casts an alluring spell. GRADE: B

RAVENOUS
(Antonia Bird, 1999)
This was one of my 1999 blindspots, the now 20-year-old film has gained a small cult following since it bombed in theaters that spring. An officer in the 1800's is stationed at an outpost where he tangles with a cannibal in this bloody horror/western. Tonally, it's all over the place and the dialogue and acting are very modern. Even the opening credits don't match the rest of the film. The original director was fired after a few days, and Bird was brought on after being recommended by co-star Robert Carlyle. The film didn't do much for her, as it was her last feature film before working exclusively in television. For a much better film with a similar story, check out Bone Tomahawk. With Guy Pearce, Jeffrey Jones and David Arquette. GRADE: C