In which Woody Allen, Kristen Wiig and Emma Stone are the new hitmakers. I can live with that.
Top Movies of the Summer of 2011:
1. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2
Projected Final Gross: $380 million
No shocker here. Scoring the biggest 3-day opening of all time, Potter's last stand was more than enough to hold off an assortment of sequels to claim the top spot.
2. TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
Projected Final Gross: $351 million
Aided by better reaction than the franchise's much maligned second installment and 3D that audiences actually enjoyed, the film's earning will unfortunately probably mean another sequel in a few years time. But hey, at least audiences enjoyed ONE 3D film since Avatar? Right?
3. THE HANGOVER: PART 2
Projected Final Gross: $255 million
This feels in many ways like a Shrek sequel: no will remember it in a few years time and those that do will be baffled it made so much money. Again, probably enough to ensure another installment or two.
4. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES
Projected Final Gross: $241 million
No one remembers this movie barely four months after it came out. So perhaps that should be a sign to abandon ship of this entire franchise, but it made a billion dollars worldwide. Altogether now: probably another installment.
5. CARS 2
Projected Final Gross: $190 million
I'd like to think that the people at Pixar are smart enough to see that this won't need another sequel no matter how much the merchandise brings in. Pixar's worst received movie to date, and could be their first to not get an Oscar nomination for Animated Feature.
6. THOR
Final Gross: $181 million
7. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
Projected Final Gross: $176 million
So now we're not even really making movies so much as we are making prequels to future blockbusters? I'll say next summer's The Avengers makes somewhere in between these 2 and Iron Man. So about $235 million. Remember that, kids!
8. RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
Projected Final Gross: $175 million
Hey, an actual surprise! Potter notwithstanding, this is the first film on the list so far we can say was actually liked by both audiences and critics.
9. BRIDESMAIDS
Projected Final Gross: $170 million
9 films in and we find our first film that is not part of a franchise. Perhaps studios should look at the grosses for this film and #10 and realize that there is an audience for womens' films that are actually good. I get the feeling we'll see one in mid May and one in mid August every year from now on.
10. THE HELP
Projected Final Gross: $167 million
See, modestly budgeted adult fare can do well in summer. Come on, studios. Look at this film and realize that if you have people behind a film that are passionate about making it and only need about $20 million, its worth it.
11. KUNG FU PANDA 2
Projected Final Gross: $165 million
Huge overseas, okay here. Seems to be a reoccuring theme this year.
12. X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
Final Gross: $147 million
Despite solid reaction, this probably should have done better if they wanted a proper reboot of the franchise.
13. THE SMURFS
Projected Final Gross: $142 million
Ah, the Alvin and the Chipmunks of the season. Terrible reviews, huge hit.
14. SUPER 8
Projected Final Gross: $127 million
TNT and TBS will be running this thing nonstop in three years, in case you missed it. Will probably develop a nice following on DVD/Blu.
15. HORRIBLE BOSSES
Projected Final Gross: $117 million
Jennifer Aniston starred in 2 100+ grossers this year. Can we stop saying she's not a movie star? Can we just leave her alone? Please.
16. THE GREEN LANTERN
Projected Final Gross: $117 million
Ryan Reynolds starred in two flops this summer, this one being the biggest flop of the year. Really, Warner Bros, you spent over $200m on this? Can we stop pretending Blake Lively is going to happen? Tabloids, please.
17. COWBOYS AND ALIENS
Projected Final Gross: $100 million
If only this could have been as fun as the title promised. Can we stop pretending Olivia Wilde is going to happen? No matter how many guys she supposedly makes out with at parties, its not happening.
18. BAD TEACHER
Projected Final Gross: $100 million
The studio will fudge numbers to get it past the century mark, but at a budget of just $30 million, this is one of the more profitable films of the summer. If only they had just remembered to make it good and funny.
19. CRAZY STUPID LOVE
Projected Final Gross: $83 million
Not as big of a hit as The Help, but a similar lesson should be learned from it: modestly budgeted adult-aimed pictures can do well.
20. ZOOKEEPER
Projected Final Gross: $80 million
How did this movie cost so much to make? It baffles me how these Adam Sandler-produced movies cost so much.
21. MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS
Projected Final Gross: $68 million
I think audiences are over Jim Carrey.
22. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
Projected Final Gross: $56 million
A small recouper, even if it did less than No Strings Attached while looking miles better.
23. MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
Projected Final Gross $55 million
Ranks as one of this summer's biggest hits. Congrats, Woody. See you at the Kodak.
24. FINAL DESTINATION 5
Projected Final Gross: $43 million
This is supposedly the actual final one. If creativity didn't kill this franchise, that gross just may have.
25. SOMETHING BORROWED
Projected Final Gross: $39 million
We're done with Kate Hudson in romcoms, right?
26. Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World - $39m
27. 30 Minutes or Less - $38m
28. Jumping the Broom - $37m
29. The Change-Up - $37m
30. Colombiana - $37m
31. Larry Crowne - $36m
32. The Debt - $32m
33. Priest - $29m
34. Winnie the Pooh - $27m
35. Our Idiot Brother - $27m
36. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - $25m
37. Monte Carlo - $23m
38. Conan the Barbarian - $23m
39. Shark Night - $22m
40. Apollo 18 - $20m
41. Fright Night - $18m
42. Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer - $15m
43. One Day - $14m
44. The Tree of Life - $13m
45. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie - $12m
So what did we learn from that last batch:
-Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts aren't the draws they once were and Tom needs to learn what a good script is and how to direct it.
-Selena Gomez can't open a movie worth a shit.
-Winnie the Pooh can't open a movie worth a shit.
-Glee and its cast should stay on the small screen.
-Focus Features seems to have small, random luck with adult films over Labor Day weekend.
-Terrence Malick films will never have mainsteam appeal.
-And I hope whoever the fuck thought it would be a good idea to spend $90 million on a remake of Conan the Barbarian is booted out of a showbiz. I'm guessing this is the same person that represents Blake Lively and Olivia Wilde.
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