I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's pointless to seriously attempt to predict the Emmy's. I know predictions are all in good fun and even the people paid to do it probably realize this. But with the Emmy's, you might as well draw names out of a hat. Never before has that been so true than last night's ceremony with some of the most random winners of any award show I can remember. If you're nominated for an Emmy from here on, just know that you apparently have an equal shot at winning as anyone in your category.
When award shows begin, I forget about the predictions and hope to have an entertaining show. I'll admit last night I really really really really wanted Jane Krakowski to finally win for her work over seven seasons on 30 Rock. Her's was the first category and she lost it to Marret Wever. Wever's speech was one of the few good things of the night. Another Darren Rule of Award Shows: if you are a surprise or undeserving winner, the best way to make up for it is to deliver a great speech. "Thank you so much. I gotta go. Bye." Epic. Krakowski wouldn't take it home after all, but the Emmy's are nothing if not random. So, with the winners seemingly being being chosen the same way I chose answers on many SAT questions, how was the actual show?
Fucking awful.
Like, this year's Oscars bad. Maybe even worse.
For several years now, the Globes have been outdoing their two major rivals: the Emmys and the Oscars. I think audience members don't really care too much at the Globes, allowing the room to be much looser. Since the Globes don't try to spice things up by being a variety show, it streamlines the procedure and gives us what we came for: awards and speeches. The Emmys and Oscars have decided (especially recently) that extended taped bits, musical numbers, someone talking backstage for no reason, more musical numbers, and tributes to random shit is the way to go. This WOULD be fine if any of it were handled well and not completely overblown.
It would also be fine if it didn't allow winners to be cut off after 20 seconds. I thought the Oscars were bad this year with their Jaws score bullshit, but the Emmys decided to one-up that and play people off almost right away.
All to make room for Carrie Underwood singing a Beatles tune about 1963 (huh?), choreographed dance numbers highlighting nominees (okay, I liked the American Horror Story one, but why was it introduced by Luck Be a Lady and then Get Lucky???), and 5 dead people getting memorialized. And THEN an In Memoriam. The evening felt like the 65th Annual Funeral Awards. People were clearly depressed.
I was one of the few that wasn't too crazy about Neil Patrick Harris the first time as host, he was okay. The past several hosts were okay. I remember Conan and Ellen really owning. Neil, however, really blew it last night and hopefully this ends all the "HE NEEDS TO HOST THE OSCARS!" bullshit. He did spectacularly at the Tony's (what I saw, at least) but something to really consider is that he was credited as a producer last night. Which means this is the first time you can legitimately blame the host for how bad the show was. He wasn't a Franco/Hathaway scapegoat.
Was there any good?
Yes, some fun stuff. Julia Louis-Dreyfus (easily best dressed, FYI) and her bit accepting with Tony Hale was genius. Loved Anna Chlumsky texting in the audience, she probably should have been onstage too. The comedy actresses really know how to handle the Emmys, as proven by Amy Poehler's various shenanigans over the years. Fey/Poehler were the highlight of the opening, which was lame as hell. Michael Douglas's speech was also very good - asking Matt if he wanted top or bottom. If you've seen Matt's ass, any sane person knows the answer.
Anyone else notice how many CBS shows Neil was watching? Yeah, that's the only way I watch most CBS shows is being tied to a chair and forced. Something odd I noticed was the complete lack of The Walking Dead. I understand it's very hit or miss critically, but the show is arguably the big phenomenon of the past season ratings wise. It wasn't even shown in the shows NPH was forced to watch. No cast members to present. Nothing? I wonder if the show being on the last successful broadcast network had anything to do with that. Then again, they did allow Spacey (from a NetFlix series) his amusing little bit in the opening. Any goodwill he earned with that later disappeared when he swatted the camera for being on him. Hey, dipshits - you're at an award show. It's being broadcast. This isn't the paparazzi.
I could go on and on about the bad stuff after dedicating a paragraph to the minimally good things. I wonder if the bad reviews and controversies over the winners will lead to any sort of changes for the TV Academy. *fingerscrossed*
Lastly, I know I said JLD was best dressed, but she had zero competition. Why did everyone look so bad? I mean, I know why Melissa Leo looked awful - it's the best way to get attention, after all. Bleh.
I'll leave these random thoughts with the best thing about this shit show -
Tina said her and Amy would discuss returning to the Globes. I hope they do, I think they will.
At this point, they are too good for the Emmys and the Oscars.
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