HF: Happy Halloween!

 Happy Halloween!

And one more...

THE FORSAKEN

(J.S. Cardone, 2001)

This is a rewatch of a movie I saw when it was released theatrically 20 years ago. It's the first time I've seen it since, and it's mostly been forgotten as it was a box-office dud and did poorly with critics. The reviews aren't exactly unearned, as I hadn't realized at the time how derivative it is of the much better Near Dark. The cast is comprised of a half dozen or so actors who at the time were angling to be Next Big Things but it never really happened for any of them. Kerr Smith stars as a trailer editor who agrees to deliver a vehicle across country on his way to his sister's wedding. Once he hits the desert South, he becomes entangled with a vampire hunter and a group of vampires. For coming out in 2001, there's almost no Scream-style self reference. It mostly plays everything straight. I very much liked it at the time, but to be fair there were few teen-aimed movies I disliked back during those years. The first half mostly works, but the denouement clumsily relies on a shoot-out. It's also sad just how little the two women in the film have to do. Might be an interesting time capsule for CW pinup's of the era. With Johnathon Schaech, Simon Rex, Brendan Fehr, and Izabella Miko. GRADE: C+

HF: Horrorfest Kills

THE ADDAMS FAMILY 2

(Greg Tiernan & Conrad Vernon, 2021)

Fairly dull sequel to the 2019's decent animated hit. In this outing, the Addams' go on a cross country vacation after finding out Wednesday may have been switched at birth and thus not an Addams. Charlize Theron and Chloe Grace Moretz continue to do decent vocal impressions of everything that made Anjelica Huston and Christina Ricci's performances huge successes. Oscar Isaac, however, really seems to nail his own variation of Gomez, suggesting that a new live action version might not be such a bad idea. (Yes, I agree with the suggestion of Eva Green for Morticia.) I think the most amusing bit involves their RV's massive interiors, as most of the gags illicit more groans than anything. GRADE: C

BODY BAGS

(John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper, 1993)

A made for TV anthology that originally aired on Showtime, I'm guessing this was that network's attempt at its own Tales From the Crypt. (After researching this, I was right. It was supposed to be a series but was never picked up.) Carpenter directs the first two stories, one involves a woman being stalked at her new job as a gas station night attendant. The second is about a man who gets more than he bargained for when he gets hair regrowth surgery. The third story, directed by Hooper, is about a ball player whose vision is impacted after an auto accident. He gets a new eye from a recently deceased donor and begins having murderous visions. The first story is easily the best and yields some decent suspense. The second and third seem to follow that "Be careful what you wish for!" lesson that many Crypt stories did. The stories are introduced by a morgue worker (Carpenter himself) who makes a bunch of death puns exactly like the Cryptkeeper. With Mark Hamill, Stacy Keach, and slew of cameos by some famous horror directors and genre faves. GRADE: C+

CENSOR

(Prano Bailey-Bond, 2021)

This hit quite a few of my own obsessions: Video stores! Video Nasties! 80's horror! Screening rooms! A young woman who works as a censor for the British Board of Film Classification during the Video Nasties era becomes obsessed with a potential link between a series of real life murders, her own sister's disappearance, and a film producer's violent productions. A very promising start from newcomer Bailey-Bond, and a great showcase for actress Niamh Algar. (She was nominated for a BAFTA last year for the film Calm With Horses, which I really need to see.) I think it loses a bit of steam towards the end, though I loved the subtle switch in aspect ratio. I sometimes am not a big fan of films where people lose the line between reality and fantasy, but felt this was exactly how to do it right. GRADE: B+

DON'T BREATHE 2

(Rodo Sayagues, 2021)

Kinda awful sequel to 2016's superior thriller in which the blind man (Stephen Lang) must fend off a new band of intruders with the help of a young girl he has been raising. The film flips Lang's character from villain to anti-hero. I'm not opposed to this kind of sequel changeup - Hey, the Terminator series did it quite successfully - but this ignores the fact that he kidnapped and raped a woman in the first film. The sequel also seems to only occasionally remember he is blind. Also, for the love of God stop it with the yellow and blue! GRADE: D+

HALLOWEEN KILLS

(David Gordon Green, 2021)

Disappointing follow-up to 2018's strong reboot in which we witness the epic meltdown the town of Haddonfield goes through during the remainder of that Halloween night. A Halloween night that apparently lasts, like, 5 days. Michael continues his killing spree after firefighters mistakenly free him from Laurie Strode's house/trap. That's all fine, but instead we get the town turning into a raging mob screaming "Evil dies tonight!" for half the god damn running time while Laurie and her family are in the hospital. It seems like they had a vision for the new trilogy that had a strong beginning and (finger crossed) a good ending, but the middle chapter has been stretched thin. The last 15 or so minutes are actually pretty good, and the gays did a decent job flipping the Meyers house. As for the rest, it doesn't quite hits the lows of Halloween Resurrection, but it occasionally comes close. But, hey, that Kyle Richards lady was okay. I'm almost glad Paul Rudd didn't get to play Tommy, let this shit for Anthony Michael Hall. GRADE: C-

NIGHT OF THE COMET

(Thom Eberhardt, 1984)

Cult 80's film that plays like a combo of Valley Girl, Dawn of the Dead, and The Omega Man. After a once in a generation comet flies by Earth just before Christmas, a young woman wakes up to find that most of humanity has turned to red dust that now fills the air like smog. She finds her sister is still alive, and the two take refuge in the local shopping mall, where they must fend off zombies and a sinister military group. I think I avoided watching this because of the PG-13 rating, and I may have confused it for the various other "Night of..." films that opened around the same time. It ended up being a total blast with fun characters and memorable lines. Despite the storyline feeling a combo of many other cult classics it still comes off like a true original. With Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney and cult fave Mary Woronov. GRADE: B+

And some anniversary watches...

THE EVIL DEAD

(Sam Raimi, 1981)

I always go by when the film was released theatrically in the United States for year of release. So happy 40th to this film which actually opened in 1983. Ooops. Turns out it played at a festival in '81, but didn't get a proper release until the beginning of '83. Oh well. I previously watched this during my 2002 summer movie marathon, and I don't think I've seen much of it since then. The second film and Army of Darkness are occasionally on television, as is 2013's remake. I was due for a rewatch after all these years. Bruce Campbell stars as Ash, a college student battling demons who have possessed his friends in a cabin in the middle of the Tennessee forest. Exhilarating, DIY horror, with amazing practical effects and makeup. That homemade feel has been a staple of the genre going back to Night of the Living Dead. And full circle, this was one of the original video nasties! GRADE: A-

INSIDIOUS

(James Wan, 2011)

After 10 years and one terrible & two mediocre sequels, I'm happy to report this still holds up. With its steady buildup of masked monsters constantly jumping out, it gets right what so many PG-13 horrors have failed to. It also makes us care about its characters. Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne play a couple whose son has slipped into a coma-like sleep. Turns out he's an astral traveler who has gone into another dimension known as "The Further" and his body is now a potential host to demonic forces. Great supporting work by Barbara Hershey and especially Lin Shaye, Insidious may often rely too heavily on its aggressive sound. While the ending resembles walking through a haunted house, the earlier scenes where the devilish creatures start to appear are unnervingly hair-raising. Are we going to get the Insidious/Conjuring crossover so I can get two Patrick Wilsons? Yes, please. GRADE: B+

THE OTHERS

(Alejandro Amenabar, 2001)

A sleeper hit when it was released at summer's end in 2001, The Others follows Grace (Nicole Kidman) who in the last days of World War II must protect her children from a sinister presence in their quiet, foggy Jersey manor. That summer marked a magnificent one-two punch for Kidman, having just received rave reviews for her work in Moulin Rouge!. The year firmly established her as my favorite actress, one not afraid to take big risks with fascinating filmmakers. The Others is an elegant ghost story that has that "instant classic" aura about it. The cinematography and score were some of the year's best, and the actors backing Kidman (child actors Alakina Mann and James Bentley, and Irish actress Fionnula Flanagan) deliver superb work. Despite the timeless nature, it delivers effective chills including the famous "I am your daughter!" scene. I've always preferred it to The Sixth Sense, a film it was compared to mostly because of their similar twists. GRADE: A-

Horrorfest: The "Friday the 13th" Films

I've been trying to do a Friday the 13th Franchise watch for several years now, but finding the films on physical media (prior to last year) proved to be difficult. Not all the films are available on streaming, and the ones that are were spread across various services. Lo and behold, Scream Factory released a Blu-ray box set last year in time for the first film's 40th anniversary. Only problem was mine didn't come until late in October, so I had no way of watching all the films for 2020's Horrorfest. I watched the first film for last year's Friday the 13th, which fell in November. By the time 2021 rolled around, I had watched the first four films in the franchise. Then, life and other "appointment watches" took precedent. So, starting with this year's unlucky date, I re-started the watch in August. I finished this past Sunday. Prior to these re-watches, I had only ever seen the first film, Jason Goes To Hell, Freddy Vs Jason, and the 2009 reboot. I absolutely hated the last three, and only had mild affection for the original. But, I had watched all of the Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chain Saw Massacre films in years passed. Why not add Jason's oeuvre to the list? 

FRIDAY THE 13TH

(Sean S. Cunningham, 1980)

It's funny to look back at this film 40 years later. It's almost quaint. Hugely profitable because of its very low budget, it was a notorious film with critics who bashed it as everything that was wrong with movies (OMG SEX! OMG VIOLENCE!) at the time. There's no way around it, though: it's a total knockoff of Halloween. Less elegant, not anywhere near as scary, but with the body count and skin on display amped way up. A group of camp counselors arrives to Camp Crystal Lake, where near twenty years earlier a boy drowned because counselors were busy having sex. The new group starts getting picked off one by one by...someone. It's important to remember the killer isn't Jason, rather his mother Mrs. Voorhees (Betsy Palmer). Palmer was nominated for a Razzie for her performance, which is a total joke of a nom. Palmer is actually pretty terrific in her limited screentime. The rest of the cast, led by a solid Final Girl played by Adrienne King, are mostly forgettable, though the film does feature the earliest significant work by Kevin Bacon. Roger Ebert had referred to these movies and their ilk as the Dead Teenager Movies. I've found this odd as it's not established that these are in fact teenagers. Most of the actors were in their early to mid 20's at the time of filming. I'll chalk all this up to the thin characterizations, but I always thought there were supposed to be college students. It probably doesn't help that two of the couples look exactly alike. After all these years, Friday the 13th holds up surprisingly well. Campy, sure, but still a bloody good time. GRADE: B+

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2

(Steve Miner, 1981)

Second installment introduces Jason as our slasher, though he doesn't have the hockey mask just yet. Instead, his deformed face is adorned with a burlap sack. Another group arrives at Crystal Lake five years after Mrs. Voorhees' slaughterfest. Thankfully for me, they are confirmed to be college students. I'm glad we got that sorted out. The group is led by this chapter's Final Girl, Ginny (Amy Steel). She is easily the franchise's best Final Girl, smart and quick witted, a psych major who analyzes Jason's obsession with his mother and figures out how to turn the tables on him. The other character's this time get enough introduction that they aren't just there to show up and die. (Well...) The body count is again very high, and at times this almost feels like a direct remake of the original. I'd say its even more successful at what it attempts. King returns from the original for a brief scene at the beginning, otherwise the cast is almost brand new. A superior sequel thanks to more memorable characters! GRADE: B+

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3

(Steve Miner, 1982)

In 3D!!! Well, I didn't get to watch it in 3D, sadly. You really feel the loss as so many scenes and shots play up the gimmick. A group of young people head to a Crystal Lake-adjacent location for a vacation. Dropping the camp location was a definite mistake, but we do get the debut of the iconic look that Jason is associated with after he finds a hockey mask. The final girl is forgettable, the rest of the characters are too obnoxious, the suspense is nonexistent, but at least some of the kills are fun. I suspect it might have been a little bit of guilty fun if it were viewed in 3D, but as it is it's just a limp sequel with little too offer. GRADE: C-

FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER

(Joseph Zito, 1984)

Absolute improvement over the previous sequel, this chapter features another horny group of teenagers going to a cabin near Crystal Lake. There, they are staying opposite a woman, her teenage daughter and young son. The son (Corey Feldman) is interested in movie monsters and masks, and he's probably the first Final Boy. His sister meets up with a young man in the woods, who is there looking for his sister who went missing. (Turns out she was one of the characters from the second film). Memorable characters with a slightly more focused tone than the goofiness from Part 3, I did find is amusing that Feldman's character takes the time to basically turn himself into Jason during the big climax. GRADE: B

FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING

(Danny Steinmann, 1985)

Feldman's character from Final Chapter, Tommy Jarvis, is now a teenager and played by a different actor (John Shepherd). Mentally unstable, he's sent to a rural halfway house with a bunch of other troubled teens. Jason arrives, naturally, to kill off the various inhabitants of the house as well as the more colorful characters of the surrounding area. This has a bit more a raunchy feel than the previous films, as I guess those broad comedies of the era have their fingerprints on the tone. Also worth nothing is that Jason ends up being a disguise for someone else. Outside of that, it's standard 80's slasher fare. GRADE: C

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES

(Tom McLoughlin, 1986)

Yet again played by a different actor, Tommy (Thom Mathews) returns to Crystal Lake to cremate Jason's body. Instead, Jason is revived after lightning strikes his heart. (Yes, really!) Right off the bat, this film embraces the ridiculousness of, well, everything about the franchise and runs with it. It's tonally different than any other film in the franchise, mixing in tongue in cheek humor. Packed with memorable characters, clever kills, one-liners, and shockingly progressive gender politics, this is the best in the franchise. The story smartly moves the action back to the Camp Crystal Lake as the summer camp is about to reopen, though now called Camp Forest Green. It's a good thing this one is sooooo good, because it's all downhill after this. Watch for a brief role from a young Tony Goldwyn. GRADE: B+

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD

(John Carl Buechler, 1988)

A young woman with telekinetic abilities (it's the seventh installment, what do you expect?) is taken to Crystal Lake to be studied by a doctor. There, they are across a house with a seemingly never ending supply of horny, young assholes for Jason to show up and slaughter. (Seriously, how many people were staying at that house?) Very typical slasher movie featuring a too pervasive score. I'm surprised I've gotten this far having not mentioned the "cch-cch-cch-ah-ah-ah" theme, but it's waaaaayyy over used in this part. Final Girl is forgettable, and the climax is groan-worthy. Also, the violence feels really tame. Apparently, there were a lot of problems with the MPAA. GRADE: C-

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN

(Rob Hedden, 1989)

Jason going to NYC sounds like it could be a fun time. I guess we'll never know in part because most of this installment takes place on a cruise ship going to New York. And when they do get to Manhattan, it's clearly not NYC outside of a scene shot in Times Square. Most of the film was very obviously shot in Canada. Jason killing his way across The Big Apple sounds like a blast, and maybe one day we'll get that film. Until then, we're stuck with this pretty awful film in which Jason kills a bunch of high school graduates on a ship. I believe it's also the longest film in the franchise, running 100 minutes. Feels like it's twice that. GRADE: D

JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY

(Adam Marcus, 1993)

I saw this previously at some point in the mid 90's, probably 96 or 97. At the time, I thought it was easily one of the worst movies I had ever seen. Watching it a few decades later and having seen a few thousand movies since, I can confirm it is indeed one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Jason is caught and killed, but his soul is somehow spread from person to person until he's brought back to Crystal Lake. So zombie Jason now has to be killed by one of his relatives, because this film likes to invent stuff as it goes. I saw the uncut version way back when, which adds considerable gore to the proceedings. It's tone is way off from the previous installments, and even with minimal slasher budgets those films looked way more impressive than anything offered up in Hell. GRADE: F

JASON X

(James Isaac, 2002)

Jason goes to space for this tenth chapter. It plays out exactly how you'd expect. I'll admit some of the jokes actually do land, but I was surprised by how dull this was. The rest is like watching Jason slash his way through a Z-grade Syfy movie, with terrible production values and visual effects. However, it does feature a cameo by David Cronenberg. He also had a cameo in To Die For, so clearly that film is part of a shared universe with Friday the 13th. GRADE: D

FREDDY VS JASON

(Ronny Yu, 2003)

The ending of Jason Goes To Hell hinted at this matchup. Funny, but this film seems to be far more in the Elm Street universe than the Friday the 13th one. Maybe that's because Freddy supremely dwarfs Jason in personality and really shows that the hockey masked villain was never much more than a Michael Meyers knockoff. After Freddy finds himself unable to kill teenagers from their dreams, he raises Jason from Hell to do it in real life. The film begins on Elm Street (which apparently is in Ohio) and ends in Crystal Lake (which is in New Jersey). Just thought that was worth noting, and I did like the mention that Freddy died by fire while Jason was killed by water. Outside of that, there's very sadly little of note here and seems to be doing a poor impression of both franchises. Standard final girl (Monica Keena), mostly annoying characters, over the top kills, but none of this is any fun. Both slashers have trouble figuring out their place in a post-Scream slasherverse. By the end of the decade, both series would have remakes/reboots. GRADE: C-

FRIDAY THE 13TH

(Marcus Nispel, 2009)

Closer to a reboot than a straight up remake, as Mrs. Voorhees is already dead at the beginning and it picks up with Jason being a legend of Crystal Lake. A man (Jared Padalecki, who appeared in the remake of House of Wax) goes looking for his missing sister who went camping near the tourist destination. Meanwhile, a drove of assholes and Danielle Panabaker (who appeared in the remake of The Crazies) arrive at a swanky cabin along the lake. They soon must unite to stop Jason before he butchers everyone. Jason now has an underground lair, and the town around Crystal Lake is home to loathsome rednecks. Yup, this is definitely a redo from the late aughts. Brutal kills, but I'm not sure why everyone in the film has to be so unpleasant. It also has that drab visual style that plagued so many of these remakes from the aughts, with everything being too dark. Not particularly scary, and certainly no fun. GRADE: D+

(As a sidenote, watching the Blu-ray to the 2009 film, I was struck by how much better than first films in the franchise looked. The restorations done, in particular on the first two films, are nothing short of breathtaking. Bravo to Scream Factory/Shout! Now, if we could an Elm Street boxset...)

And my ranking of the films...

1. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

2. Friday the 13th Part 2

3. Friday the 13th (1980)

4. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

5. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

6. Friday the 13th Part III 

7. Freddy Vs Jason

8. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

9. Friday the 13th (2009)

10. Jason X

11. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

12. Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

As for the next franchise I should tackle, I was thinking The Exorcist, Sleepaway Camp, or The Amityville Horror. Availability will be the determining issue. 

HF: Bloody Tears For Bloody Fears

CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

(Lucio Fulci, 1980)

Sometimes titled The Gates of Hell, depending where/how you watch it. Fulci's gorefest about how a priest's suicide unleashes a horde of the undead in a small town. I believe this my third Fulci I've watched for Horrorfest, and it may have been the grossest one yet as I'm not sure much can top maggot vomit. Or vomiting up one's own intestines. Might have reached the top of the charts with that. I'll have to make a mental note to watch future Fulci's on an empty stomach. Luckily, this has mood and atmosphere to spare. With Christopher George and Catriona MacColl. GRADE: B

OLD

(M. Night Shyamalan, 2021)

Another divisive entry into Philadelphia's own auteur's oeuvre. Some will absolutely despise this. I think if you take it as a thriller/dark comedy riffing on a Twilight Zone-esque scenario, this totally works and is even very good. Several families are taken to a secluded beach near a swanky resort where time moves faster than usual, resulting in everyone aging at a rapid pace. Shyamalan occasionally writes dialogue that no great actor can deliver in a way that doesn't sound completely awkward, but I found that fitting for such a heightened atmosphere. He's a better director than writer, as evidence by the palpable sense of dread. With Gael Garcia Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Thomasin McKenzie, and Abbey Lee. Took me forever to realize that was Embeth Davidtz at the end! GRADE: B+

SHADOW IN THE CLOUD

(Roseanne Liang, 2021)

Chloe Grace Moretz stars as a World War II pilot who boards a bomber plane much to the chagrin of the male crew. Armed with top secret cargo, she soon finds herself fending off a monstrous presence. The first third or so of this was very good, with a definite Twilight Zone link. About halfway through it does something colossally stupid, and never quite finds its footing again. It doesn't help that the subtle but still good effects eventually turn quite bad. I'm hoping someday Liang gets the budget to do what she wants because she does have a lot of talent, and this is also a good showcase for Moretz. Great score, too. Nice feminist touch at the ending! With Nick Robinson and Taylor John Smith. GRADE: B

And two anniversary rewatches...

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON 

(John Landis, 1981)

Happy 40th to the first film that won the Oscar for Best Makeup! From what I gather, I first saw this in the late aughts. I thought I saw it before that, but I guess not. I do remember watching the poorly received 1997 sequel - An American Werewolf in Paris - shortly after it came to VHS. I also remember always seeing the VHS box of this at the video store when I was a kid. This hybrid of comedy and horror follows two American college students backpacking through Europe. Hitting the English moors, they are attacked by an animal that kills one of them and puts the other in the hospital. There, he begins to notice some changes once the moon becomes full. Worth noting that the dazzling transformation sequence doesn't occur until nearly an hour into the film. Even forty years later, London has a distinct vibe that hasn't been successfully replicated since. With David Naughton, Griffin Dunne, and Jenny Agutter. GRADE: A-

JOY RIDE

(John Dahl, 2001)

Have I ever mentioned here how the road thriller is one of my favorite subgenres? Well, it is. And this is one of the best! Equal parts Duel and Scream, Paul Walker and Steve Zahn play estranged brothers who are stalked by an insane trucker after a prank goes wrong. Dahl's tight directing keeps thrills coming, and the screenplay was co-written by JJ Abrams before his career took off. At a lean 96 minutes, Joy Ride doesn't waste a second. It was Walker's most natural performance, while Zahn is fantastic as the fuckup brother. I always felt he didn't get the career he deserved, but this is my favorite work of his. He gives the film a very grounded sense of humor. (The "Bitch!" bar scene is an all-timer.) Genre fave Ted Levine provides the voice of Rusty Nail, and it's one of the genre's best vocal performances. We get everything we need to know about Rusty through Levine's work. The film spawned two mostly dismal direct-to-DVD sequels. Leelee Sobieski, who has since retired from acting, co-stars. Happy 20th to this truly underrated gem! GRADE: A-

Horrorfest: Dead-er Than Ever

DEAD AGAIN

(Kenneth Branagh, 1991)

Branagh's Hitchcock homage - equal parts melodrama and mystery - in which a private eye helps an amnesiac woman (Emma Thompson) figure out what happened to her. They meet a psychic who reveals they may have been lovers in a previous life until murder separated them. Hey, remember when studios made films for adults that starred adults? They did this on the regular in the 90's and the decades before. It's a nice throwback in that regard, though it never goes further than entertaining tribute. Also with Robin Williams, Andy Garcia, and a terrific Derek Jacobi. GRADE: B

FINAL PRAYER

(Elliot Goldner, 2015)

Found footage concerning two investigators hired by the Vatican to look into bizarre happenings at an old English church. Very predictable, though occasionally saved by some amusingly sarcastic humor from the one investigator. In a few months, I'll probably struggle to remember anything about this movie other than its annoying reliance on genre contrivances like pixelating and sound dropping out. This might be called "The Borderlands" depending on where you find it. With Gordon Kennedy and Robin Hill. GRADE: C

THE FOREVER PURGE

(Everardo Gout, 2021)

After the latest Purge night, a group of insurrectionists decides the night shouldn't end and continues the killing across the country. Mexico and Canada open their borders to refugees and, well, no one ever said satire had to be subtle. The franchise peaked with the solid second and third installments, both blended the subtext and genre atmosphere better than the latest two clunky chapters. Given real world events, this franchise needs to go bigger since we're already in a Twilight Zone episode. With Josh Lucas, Ana de la Reguera, and Will Patton. GRADE: C

HAUNT

(Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, 2019)

A group of friends goes to an extreme haunted attraction where things turn deadly. I heard good things about this, so I hoped this was the rare straight-to-streaming release that actually lived up to the hype. It mostly does. It has a mean and nasty feel like most modern slashers, but it also delivers some good thrills. I wish the characters had been a bit more "fun", but at least they weren't obnoxious shits like in the similarly themed Hell Fest from a few years ago. Decent final girl, and the last scene is pretty amusing. With Katie Stevens and the very hot Will Brittain. GRADE: B

THE MESSENGERS 2: THE SCARECROW

(Martin Barnewitz, 2009)

Don't ask me why I watched this direct-to-DVD sequel to the Kristen Stewart movie from 2007 (a movie I didn't even like!). Norman Reedus stars as a farmer whose crops are struggling. After finding a mysterious scarecrow, he puts it in the field and his luck begins to turn around just as locals start dying. Not enough creepy Scarecrow action, and Reedus is completely terrible in this. Claire Holt from 47 Meters Down also appears. GRADE: D

NATURE'S GRAVE

(Jamie Blanks, 2009)

Jim Caviezel and Claudia Karvan star as a bickering couple who find Mother Nature taking revenge on them in this remake of the Aussie horror film Long Weekend. I watched that last year, and mostly liked it. This follows the story pretty closely though it seems the characters had a bit more subtlety in the original. The couple in the remake are mostly unlikeable, but at least their comeuppance is a bit more brutal. Blanks is no stranger to the genre having directed two films from the slasher revival that began in the late 90's - Urban Legend and Valentine. GRADE: C+

ODD THOMAS

(Stephen Sommers, 2014)

The late Anton Yelchin stars as a diner cook with supernatural abilities in this adaptation of a Dean Koontz novel. He teams up with a local sheriff (Willem Dafoe) to stop a conspiracy involving some dark forces. With a similar feel to The Frighteners, the comic thriller moves at a fast pace but never pulled me in. The visual effects are too generic, and the world building never quite gains steam. It is a good showcase for the talents of Yelchin, and a sad reminder of what a charismatic and sly actor we lost. Gugu Mbatha-Raw co-stars. GRADE: C

 

A QUIET PLACE: PART 2

(John Krasinski, 2021)

Picking up immediately where the first film ended, the second part follows the surviving members of the Abbott Family as they leave their farm and venture out into the world. Letting Millicent Simmonds lead this chapter was a smart move, and the franchise's newcomer is Cillian Murphy - no stranger to apocalyptic fare since his debut in 28 Days Later. I think the abrupt endings of both films make them feel a little too slight, and that's even more true here. The set pieces and sound design remain exceptional. Noah Jupe and Emily Blunt co-star. GRADE: B

"Scream" (2022) trailer

Obviously this spoils some stuff, and it looks considerably darker than the previous installments. But..."Hello, Sidney. It's an honor." absolutely made me giddy.

Here we go again...

Trailer coming Tuesday.

Horrorfest: I Will Survive!

I will be watching the Friday the 13th franchise this year after several unsuccessful tries. In the meantime, here's the first batch.

CANDYMAN

(Nia DaCosta, 2021)

Sequel/reboot to the popular 90's franchise that starred Tony Todd as a supernatural force who kills anyone who summons him. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II stars as the classic movie starving artist, who finds inspiration in the urban legend of Candyman, a presence that eventually takes hold of him and those around him. The cinematography and score are fantastic, but that screenplay needed some serious work. The film can't quite decide exactly who or what Candyman is. It has some moments that soar (those opening shots of the city!), but probably best not to think too hard about the storyline. The terrific Teyonah Pariss also appears. GRADE: B-

CENTIGRADE

(Brendan Walsh, 2020)

An author and his pregnant wife become trapped in their vehicle for days after a winter storm causes the doors to freeze shut and snow to pile on top of that. Based on a true story, the claustrophobic setting is used well and there's a potent gross-out moment late in the film. Beyond that, the film is a little too slight and the predicament plays out almost exactly as one would expect. Genesis Rodriguez and Vincent Piazza star. GRADE: B-

THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

(Michael Chaves, 2021)

Latest installment in the popular franchise that strained believability in the second installment and sadly goes even further this round. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson reprise their roles as paranormal investigators The Warrens, this time used in the defense of a murderer who claimed demonic possession. The actual story pretty much showed The Warrens for being the grifters they were, but the film kind of sidetracks to another storyline and forgets about the court case. Probably a smart move, but the second story is too generic. If they do a fourth outing, please ground it in reality a little more! John Noble also appears. GRADE: C

DEADLY FRIEND

(Wes Craven, 1986)

I think I have only 2 more Wes Craven films to see after this - Deadly Blessing and Vampire In Brooklyn. Oh, and Hills Have Eyes 2. I should probably rewatch Serpent and the Rainbow at some point, too. I saw that almost 20 years ago, and I think I fell asleep. This one is a "Frankenstein"-esque story about a brilliant young man and his robot friend. The "Frankenstein" theme is a bit ironic given the studio forced Craven to add scenes of gore. He intended for it to be a science fiction love story, and it ended up being closer to horror. He and the screenwriter ultimately disowned the film. Nevertheless, I found it pretty entertaining, the big gore scene has to be seen to be believed. With Matthew Labyorteaux and Kristy Swanson. GRADE: B

HORIZON LINE

(Mikael Marcimain, 2021)

Allison Williams and Alexander Dreymon (he's hot!) plays exes who must take a small plane to a destination wedding together. When the pilot dies of a heart attack midflight over the ocean, they must find a way to survive and safely land the plane despite minimal experience flying and no sign of land. Survival thriller that flip flops between believability to "uh huh, sure", and from special effects utilized well to "well, that looked like a cheap Syfy movie". I'm still not sold on Williams as an actress, as she has some unintentionally hilarious moments here. GRADE: C+

THE REEF

(Andrew Traucki, 2010)

I watched the director's Black Water films during last Horrorfest and was lukewarm on both of those croc features, but this was much better. Aussie horror about a group of friends stranded over the Great Barrier Reef after their sailboat capsizes. Deciding to swim to an island miles away, they must brave shark-infested waters. It's based on a true story, and how's this: apparently it leans very closely to what actually happened, and many shark experts say its a realistic portrayal of how sharks behave. Not "movie sharks" like Deep Blue Sea or The Shallows. (Though I certainly enjoy those.) There's a sequel currently in post-production, so hopefully I can check that out in time for next year's fest. The underwater photography and authentic shark footage adds to the realism, but what was impressive was the way it uses the vast horizon and calm of the ocean to yield suspense. I just wish it had done a bit more with its characters, as they are mostly empty. The lead actor is named Damian Walshe-Howling, which might be the most horror-ific name you can give a child. GRADE: B

TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS 'RITUAL'

(Avi Nesher, 2002)

Did you know there was a third Tales From the Crypt movie? Yeah, neither did I. I'm not sure how I even found out about this movie, but I was shocked it was real and that it was available on DVD from Netflix. Turns out it wasn't intended to be a TFTC movie, they just added the Cryptkeeper segments prior to release. Otherwise, this is a very basic and poor Direct-To-DVD horror about a doctor who had her medical license revoked and takes a job in Jamaica caring for the sick members of a wealthy family. As she discovers, they might not actually be sick, but cursed by a voodoo cult. Way too long, pretty racist, and never scary or interesting, it's not a surprise this film has been buried and forgotten. With Jennifer Grey and Craig Sheffer. GRADE: D

THE VEIL

(Phil Joanou, 2016)

Jessica Alba plays a documentary filmmaker who takes the sole survivor (Lily Rabe) back to the location of a cult's mass suicide that happened 25 years prior. Thankfully, it wasn't done in the found footage style, but the film has that ugly, brownish gray tint that so many films of the genre seemed to have for the past decade. Everything looks like it was covered a in layer of grime. So gritty! So scary! So..not either of those things but trying so damn hard. Definitely one of the lesser Blumhouse entries, even with a solid cast that also includes Thomas Jane, Reid Scott and Shannon Woodward. GRADE: C