(John Carpenter, 1983)
This was one of my few Carpenter blind spots. Well, not a complete blind spot. I saw part of it on TV years (decades?) ago, and after this half-rewatch realized I saw more than I remembered. A nerdy teen spends his savings on restoring a vintage car, unaware the car has a mind of its own and becomes violently protective of him. Keith Gordon and John Stockwell star, though both have more or less moved exclusively behind the camera. I was unaware Gordon had directed some of the series Fargo. I like that this keeps Christine a mystery, as a modern movie would probably involve a long scene of exposition about some lady dying in her and her ghost inhabiting the vehicle. I'm not sure if the King novel it's based on goes into the history. In terms of Carpenter's horror oeuvre, this is in the middle of the pack. A very solid creeper with memorable characters. Look for a young Kelly Preston in a very small role. GRADE: B+
THE FIRST PURGE(Gerard McMurray, 2018)
Fourth installment in the successful franchise, this time a prequel focusing on the launch of the first purge. (HENCE THE TITLE!) The most interesting ideas are borrowed heavily from out current political landscape, but that's a nightmare the movies couldn't even make up. However, like previous franchise entries, they aren't exactly gracefully dealt with. Genre films are the perfect Trojan horses for political subtext, so it's a shame this franchise hasn't ever lived up to its potential even if the past two installments did the genre (a blending of urban action and horror in a science fiction box) elements well. Most of what happens in this feels just like leftovers from the past two films, even if some of the action sequences are well done. The blue eyes were a nice touch, though. Marisa Tomei appears in what is more or less an extended cameo. As of this writing - and having not seen the TV series - I would say the third film was the most successful in blending the horrors both above and below the surface. GRADE: C+
HELL FEST(Gregory Plotkin, 2018)
Hey, remember the slasher film? It was alive and well in the 80's, brought back in the 90's with Scream, then mostly devolved into torture porn in the new millennium. Really strange that we haven't gotten a great one in a good while. I guess it's not that strange when this film is the best studios can do. A thoroughly average affair, the film follows a group of friends going through a pop-up haunted attraction while being stalked by a masked killer ready to off them one by one. Gee, that "pop-up haunted attraction" seems awfully ornate and firmly built, but I digress. The main problem is half the movie is just people walking through the haunted attraction with things jumping out at them. Despite the setting, there's very little atmosphere. But the big hindrance to this is that the characters are really annoying (particularly the short-haired girl) and the final girl is just too bland. Did they ever even establish why she was somewhat estranged from the group? The best part: the men are really hot. The killer is okay, and I thought the final moments added a nice touch. Horror fave Tony Todd appears in a cameo. GRADE: C
THE NUN
(Corin Hardy, 2018)
Hey, I mostly liked this! Surprise! The newest entry in the Conjuring universe is a prequel to both The Conjuring 2 and Annabelle: Creation. (Though the connection to the second one is only briefly hinted at.) A novitiate (Taissa Farmiga) and a priest (Demian Bichir) are called to Romania to investigate the suicide of a nun. Apparently police aren't available? Farmiga's casting provides some cool trivia for horror nerds, as I love that she and big sister Vera have embraced being genre actresses. This generation could use some scream queens. Individual scenes work even if it all never quite adds up and plays out exactly how you think it will. I would've loved it if the film went more deeply into the religious aspect as there's definitely a lot to explore there, but it only does a shallow dive. It's a nice distraction while it lasts, but the first Conjuring and Annabelle: Creation are still the best in this shared universe. Very nice and very loud sound on this one, too. More horror man candy: Jonas Bloquet is a big YUM. Bichir ain't so bad either. GRADE: B-
(John Hough, 1980)
Once upon a time, Disney made a family horror movie. It was even rated PG, probably due to the PG-13 rating not being invented just yet. A family moves into a large manor where the daughters find themselves targeted by a supernatural presence. Completely uninvolving with a poor lead (Lynn-Holly Johnson). She was like watching Anna Faris do a sloppy drunk impression of Jan Brady. Bette Davis even thought she was bad, as the legend apparently tried to get the studio to replace the actress with Diane Lane. Bette Davis was smart like that. This felt very chopped up, like huge scenes were missing. In doing further research, I found out the film was released and shortly thereafter pulled from theaters due to poor reviews. They shot a new ending, and released it almost a year after. I thought that Disney should probably consider a remake given they are redoing everything in their archives...err..."Disney Vault". Lo and behold, Lifetime actually did a remake last year with Anjelica Huston in the Davis role. Oh, and this is another movie that features a non-comical scene where a black cat jumps out of nowhere. GRADE: C
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