Horrorfest: Enough Candy To Make Your Head Explode

I DIDN'T COME HERE TO DIE
(Bradley Scott Sullivan, 2013ish)
The end of the video store has led to Darren plucking Grade-Z horror films from the modern day "convenience" that is Redbox.  (Yes, I'm still moaning about the extinction of the movie rental store AND I WILL NEVER STOP!)  Bookended for no real reason with Grindhouse-y scratched scenes, this (very very) low budget horror/comedy follows a group of volunteers building a recreation area in the forest while a killer slices them up one by one.  Full disclosure: I was asleep for about a third of this.  That said, what I did see I can't even remember a few days later.  The acting isn't as bad as it probably should be, so there might be some talent that emerges unscathed.  GRADE: D+

FUN SIZE
(Josh Schwartz, 2012)

Like my endless ranting about no more video stores, my second most popular complaint from Horrorfest is the lack of non-horror Halloween movies.  Good examples: The Addams Family movies, Hocus Pocus and Practical Magic.  Bad examples: this.  Well, it's not terrible really.  The first hour is.  It's a little too apparent this is a debut feature, because scenes are so awkwardly staged that it leaves the mostly talented cast stranded.  Somehow though, the last 20 or so minutes come together nicely and it feels like an ending to a movie I would have honestly enjoyed.  Victoria Justice is a high school senior stuck babysitting her bratty younger brother instead of partying with her slutty friend (Jane Levy, so terrific in Evil Dead and Suburgatory but completely wasted here) at the Halloween party of her crush.  It's very Adventures in Babysitting, which would be great if the comedy were, you know, funny and the shenanigans a little more original.  The film was a dud when released last year probably because of the unnecessary PG-13 rating.  It's a Nickelodeon film, and the minor swearing should've been trimmed.  Bit parts come courtesy of a surprisingly good Chelsea Handler, and former Saturday Night Live cast members Abby Elliot and Ana Gasteyer.  So, the lesson here is more movies like this, but less movies like this.  Get it?  GRADE: C-

IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS
(John Carpenter, 1995)
Released just month's prior to his Village of the Damned remake (which I really liked!), John Carpenter made this Stephen King adaptation.  Remember how huge those were a couple decades ago?  Sam Neill is an insurance investigator looking for a missing best-selling author whose books have a murderous effect on fans.  I liked the mystery the film set up, but once it got to the town and we were dealing with buggy creatures I was reminded of the cheesiness of some of those King adaptations.  This is one of the last horror films in Carpenter's oeuvre that I have to see and I found it to be one of the weakest.  Madness felt way too early-90's-King-adaptation.  I thought The Mist pulled off the bugginess a lot better.  I'm buggin out!  And the ending was way too meta.  GRADE: C+

SCANNERS
(David Cronenberg, 1981)
Early work from Canada's bizarre auteur focusing on the "scanners", a group of telekinetics who can also read minds and a corporate war being waged to control them.  Cronenberg loves his body horror and I wouldn't have it any other way, though I found this to be not as great as I was hoping.  The film feels too distanced from the viewer, it's a little hard to care about everyhing happening.  It still has a lot to offer, mainly some pretty terrific makeup/gore effects.  The film's famous head exploding sequence is a doozy - it happens early on so I'm not spoiling anything but I think everyone who knows about this film probably knows about it.  I know others complained about the lead actor, but I thought his stilted delivery worked for this film.  Like most of David's other early work, this has been the topic of remake buzz but it's never come to fruition.  GRADE: B