Recently Watched Movies (July - Dec 2024)

Venom: The Last Dance (Marcel, 2024) - C-

The Inspection (Bratton, 2022) - B

Batman (Burton, 1989) - B+

Mothers' Instinct (Delhomme, 2024) - B-

10 Things I Hate About You (Junger, 1999) - B

The End of the Affair (Jordan, 1999) - B-

Abigail (Bettinelli-Olpin & Gillett, 2024) - B+

Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Hooper, 1974) - A

Opera (Argento, 1987) - B+

Diabolique (Clouzot, 1955) - B+

I Saw the Devil (Kim, 2011) - B+

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Wiene, 1920) - B+

Two Evil Eyes (Argento & Romero) - C+

Sleepy Hollow (Burton, 1999) - B

Cuckoo (Singer, 2024) - B-

The Beast Within (Farrell, 2024) - C-

Wes Craven's New Nightmare (Craven, 1994) - B+

The Blair Witch Project (Myrick & Sánchez, 1999) - A-

A Nightmare on Elm Street (Craven, 1984) A-

Wishmaster (Kurtzman, 1997) - B-

Happy Birthday To Me (Thompson, 1981) - B-

The Dorm That Dripped Blood (Carpenter & Obrow, 1982) - C+

The Seventh Victim (Robson, 1943) - B

Bringing Out the Dead (Scorsese, 1999) - B

Summer of Sam (Lee, 1999) - C+

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Selick, 1993) - B+

Smile 2 (Finn, 2024) - B-

Body Double (De Palma, 1984) - B+

I Walked With a Zombie (Tourneur, 1943) - B+

Lake Placid (Miner, 1999) - B+

It: Chapter 2 (Muschietti, 2019) - C

Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker (Asher, 1981) - B

The Machinist (Anderson, 2004) - C+

It: Chapter 1 (Muschietti, 2017) - B+

Lovers Lane (Ward, 2000) - D+

Saturday Night (Reitman, 2024) - B-

Terrifier 3 (Leone, 2024) - C-

Blade: Trinity (Goyer, 2004) - C-

Young Frankenstein (Brooks, 1974) - B+

The Night of the Hunter (Laughton, 1955) - A

Blade 2 (Del Toro, 2002) - C

Wes Craven Presents: They (Harmon, 2002) - B-

Nightwatch (Bornedal, 1998) - C-

Ghostbusters 2 (Reitman, 1989) - C

Piece By Piece (Neville, 2024) - B-

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Burton, 2024) - B-

My Old Ass (Park, 2024) - B

Joker: Folie à Deux (Phillips, 2024) - C-

Monster Summer (Henrie, 2024) - C

Thirst (Chan-wook, 2009) - B

Stopmotion (Morgan, 2024) - B

Ghostbusters (Reitman, 1984) - B

Beetlejuice (Burton, 1988) - B+

Castle of Blood (Corbucci & Margheriti, 1964) - B

Stigmata (Wainwright, 1999) - C

Interview With the Vampire (Jordan, 1994) - B-

Night of the Demons 3 (Kaufman, 1997) - D

Megalopolis (Coppola, 2024) - D

Bagman (McCarthy, 2024) - C-

The Wild Robot (Sanders, 2024) - B+

Notice To Quit (Hacker, 2024) - B-

Azrael (Katz, 2024) - C

Night of the Demons 2 (Ternchard-Smith, 1994) - C-

The Tingler (Castle, 1959) - C

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (Drymon & Kluska, 2022) - C-

Deep Blue Sea (Harlin, 1999) - B

The Astronaut's Wife (Ravich, 1999) - D+

Speak No Evil (Watkins, 2024) - B

Never Let Go (Aja, 2024) - C-

Whiplash (Chazelle, 2014) - A-

Transformers One (Cooley, 2024) - B-

Mute Witness (Waller, 1995) - C+

Witch Story (Capone, 1989) - B-

Dawn of the Dead (Snyder, 2004) - B+

Dead Calm (Noyce, 1989) - B+

The Great Alligator (Martino, 1979) - C+

When a Stranger Calls (Walton, 1979) - B+

House on Haunted Hill (Malone, 1999) - C

The Toxic Avenger (Herz & Kaufman, 1986) - C

The Killer's Game (Perry, 2024) - C

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (Chiodo, 1988) - B-

House on Haunted Hill (Castle, 1959) - B+

Serial Mom (Waters, 1994) - B+

The Bone Collector (Noyce, 1999) - C

Wolf (Nichols, 1994) - B-

13 Ghosts (Castle, 1960) - B

The 13th Warrior (McTiernan, 1999) - C

Shaun of the Dead (Wright, 2004) - A-

The Front Room (Eggers & Eggers, 2024) - C+

The Forge (Kendrick, 2024) - C-

The Hills Have Eyes Part II (Craven, 1985) - C-

Speak No Evil (Tafdrup, 2022) - B

Stir of Echoes (Koepp, 1999) - B-

In Dreams (Jordan, 1999) - C

Bats (Morneau, 1999) - D+

The Haunting (de Bont, 1999) - C+

You Gotta Believe (Roberts, 2024) - C

AfrAId (Weitz, 2024) - C-

Slingshot (Håfström, 2024) - C+

1992 (Vromen, 2024) - C+

The 'Burbs (Dante, 1989) - C+

Possession (Żuławski, 1981) - A-

eXistenZ (Cronenberg, 1999) - B+

The Sixth Sense (Shyamalan, 1999) - A-

Cutting Class (Pallenberg, 1989) - C-

Tumbleweeds (O'Connor, 1999) - B+

Midnight Cowboy (Schlesinger, 1969) - A-

Mean Girls (Waters, 2004) - A-

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Hill, 1969) - A

The Crow (Sanders, 2024) - C-

Trap (Shyamalan, 2024) - C

Blink Twice (Kravitz, 2024) - B+

Strange Darling (Mollner, 2024) - B

Between the Temples (Silver, 2024) - B

Being John Malkovich (Jonze, 1999) - A-

The Old Oak (Loach, 2024) - B

Easy Rider (Hopper, 1969) - A

The Lost King (Frears, 2023) - C

Alien: Romulus (Alvarez, 2024) - C

A Hard Day's Night (Lester, 1964) - B

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (Herek, 1989) - B

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (Cimino, 1974) - B

The Chronicles of Riddick (Twohy, 2004) - C-

Babes (Adlon, 2024) - B-

Borderlands (Roth, 2024) - C-

It Ends With Us (Baldoni, 2024) - C-

Being Julia (Szabó, 2004) - C+

Speed (de Bont, 1994) - A-

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (Elliot, 1994) - A-

The Lion King (Allers & Minkoff, 1994) - A-

The Taste of Things (Tran, 2023) - B+

The Rain People (Coppola, 1969) - B+

UHF (Levey, 1989) - C

Double Jeopardy (Beresford, 1999) - C-

Conan the Destroyer (Fleischer, 1984) - C

Starman (Carpenter, 1984) - B+

Purple Rain (Magnoli, 1984) - B-

Deadpool & Wolverine (Levy, 2024) - C-

Longlegs (Perkins, 2024) - B+

Perfect Days (Wenders, 2023) - B+

Blown Away (Hopkins, 1994) - C-

Arcadian (Brewer, 2024) - C

Origin (Duvernay, 2023) - B

Showing Up (Reichardt, 2023) - B

Twisters (Chung, 2024) - C

Suite Française (Dibb, 2014) - C

Cold In July (Mickle, 2014) - A-

The French Connection (Friedkin, 1971) - A-

Fly Me To the Moon (Berlanti, 2024) - B-

MaXXXine (West, 2024) - B-

Team America: World Police (Parker, 2004) - C+

Satanic Panic (Stardust, 2019) - C-

Anacondas: The Hunt For the Blood Orchid (Little, 2004) - C

Ghosts of War (Bress, 2020) - C-

All About My Mother (Almodóvar, 1999) - A-

The Roaring Twenties (Walsh, 1939) - A-

Sex, Lies, and Videotape (Soderbergh, 1989) - A-

The Warriors (Hill, 1979) - B+

Natural Born Killers (Stone, 1994) - C

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (Parker, 1999) - B

The Minus Man (Fancher, 1999) - C+

A Quiet Place: Day One (Sarnoski, 2024) - B

Despicable Me 4 (Delage & Renaud, 2024) - C

Born on the Fourth of July (Stone, 1989) - B+

An Education (Scherfig, 2009) - A-

Steel Magnolias (Ross, 1989) - B+

Some Like It Hot (Wilder, 1959) - A- 

186 watched during the first half, so I won't have any problem surpassing last year's 234. 

HF: Happy Halloween!

I watched almost everything I wanted to watch this year. The only major miss that I wanted to revisit was 1994's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. As for my 1999 retrospective, I added 17 more titles through HF. I couldn't get The Rage: Carrie 2 or End of Days. I wasn't going to re-watch Virus, and I watched Idle Hands and Ravenous in previous years. I will be watching Jawbreaker again before the end of the year. Can now safely say I've seen all the horrors of 1999. There were also five 2024 titles I had wanted to include: Late Night With the Devil, In a Violent Nature, Oddity, Exhuma, and The Substance. I'll get around to them. Saving anniversary watches of Black Christmas and Gremlins for the holidays.

ABIGAIL

(Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett, 2024)

This was my Halloween night viewing. I saw this back in April and enjoyed it, and figured it would be a good film for Halloween night. Funnily enough, despite my horror obsession, I don't typically watch a movie on Halloween night. Usually only if the holiday falls on the weekend. A group of strangers is hired to kidnap the ballerina daughter of a high profile criminal and hold her hostage in a desolate manor. Unbeknownst to them, the girl has some secrets of her own. Fun, bloody, with a terrific ensemble playing well of each other, it's closer in tone to the directors' Ready or Not than their Scream films. The final act does run a little long, but there is a perfectly cast cameo at the end. With Melissa Barrera, Dan Stevens, Kathryn Newton, and Alisha Weir. GRADE: B+

THE BEAST WITHIN

(Alexander J. Farrell, 2024)

A young girl finds the reason her family lives in an isolated area in the middle of the English wilds has to do with her father and his monstrous transformation that occurs at night. Uninvolving yawn of a take on the werewolf lore, hopefully the upcoming Wolf Man is a fresher spin because this had very little new to offer. Kit Harrington was almost naked, so there's at least that. Very little else. GRADE: C-

THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI

(Robert Wiene, 1920)

This replaces Metropolis as the earliest movie I've ever seen. From a design perspective, this has more inventive production design than most modern movies. It feels like its own world, but you can see the influence among a handful of modern filmmakers. A man tells the story of how he encountered a doctor and his somnambulist which led to the murder of his friend. (I did not know what a somnambulist prior to this.) Twists abound, but I was a bit taken aback by the score. I watched the version with a 2014 score, and it sounded a little too jazzy. I expected something a bit more ominous and foreboding. That threw me off a little, but I definitely want to check out more German Expressionist cinema. GRADE: B+

CUCKOO

(Tillman Singer, 2024)

A teenager (Hunter Schafer) takes a job at a resort in the German Alps where here father and stepfamily are staying. At night, she becomes entangled in the sinister goings-on in the isolated area. The reveals of the film's second half go to deranged places though I felt some of it didn't entirely work. The scene with Gretchen riding her bike at night was intense, so Singer does know how to stage some thrilling sequences. Did we need a shootout, though? Schafer and the supporting cast - including Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, and Marton Csokas - are good. GRADE: B-

DIABOLIQUE

(Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955)

French shocker about the wife and mistress of a boarding school headmaster who team up to kill him. A detective shows up to figure out what happened putting the wife's fragile heart in jeopardy. I saw the remake of this back in '96 and was surprised how much I remembered of it. That was almost a beat by beat remake up until the ending. Simone Signoret and Véra Clouzot play well off of each other, the former being stylishly iconic and oozing sex appeal. Kinda eerie the latter died of a heart attack five years after this came out. With Paul Meurisse. GRADE: B+

I SAW THE DEVIL

(Kim Jee-woon, 2011)

After the murder of his wife, a secret agent plays a bloody game of cat and mouse with a sadistic serial killer. Their violent confrontations grow increasingly out of control. A very different take on the hunt-for-the-killer movie in which the good guy gets the bad guy but then deliberately lets him go to wear him down. Stylish directing and great cinematography, it'll please fans of both standard serial killer thrillers and the hardcore gorehounds. Ultimately, it does run a little too long, but watching Lee Byung-hun (so hot!) and Choi Min-sik spar is a sick, twisted pleasure. GRADE: B+

OPERA

(Dario Argento, 1987)

After the leading lady is hit by a car, a young woman becomes the new, acclaimed lead of a production of Verdi's "MacBeth" just as a killer goes on a rampage. I figured this would involve a more supernatural storyline, but it was a fairly straight forward slasher. Plus, ravens! The film's needles-keeping-the-eyes-open bit the killer does was pretty cool. I don't think any other film has ever replicated that. It seems like something another film would've copied. The kills are good, and the production design was top notch. Was I the only one thinking about Sound of Music during the last scene? That had to be intentional, right? With Cristina Marsillach and Ian Charleson. GRADE: B+

TWO EVIL EYES

(Dario Argento & George Romero, 1991)

Horror legends teamed up for this duology that pays tribute to several short stories by Edgar Allen Poe. Romero directed the first story; Adrienne Barbeau plays a former flight attendant attempting to bilk an old rich man out of his estate before his death with the help of a swarthy lawyer (Ramy Zada, so hot!). Argento does the second story where Harvey Keitel plays a seedy photographer who has an unhealthy hatred of his girlfriend's black cat. I preferred the first story, but neither fully works. Good performances, but the stories are just a little too slight even each only running about an hour. I did enjoy the various references to Poe. GRADE: C+

WISHMASTER

(Robert Kurtzman, 1997)

Another "Wes Craven presents...", but in this one he's actually credited as an executive producer. Saw this when it came to VHS in the late 90's and haven't seen it since. I think it the sequels are on PlutoTV. I had intended to watch the franchise this year, but didn't get around to the sequels. Enjoyed this when I first saw it, but figured it would be another "well, this actually sucked". Turns out I still kinda like it. It's not good, exactly, but it is fun with some good makeup effects and lots of cameos by horror icons. A djinn is unleashed in Los Angeles and it's up to a gemologist to stop him. Straight forward "Be careful what you wish for!" horror/fantasy with creative kills, though I wish Andrew Divoff as the titular genie gave a bit of a stronger performance. It's crazy how much he looks like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers. With Tammy Lauren and Robert Englund. Jenny O'Hara is an absolute hoot as a folklore professor. GRADE: B-

Some anniversary re-watches...

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

(Wes Craven, 1984)

Happy 40th! I don't actually recall when I first saw this, in fact I think I may have seen New Nightmare before it. The film that saved New Line and gave horror audiences one of its most beloved icons, it still works four decades later. Heather Langenkamp plays Nancy, a high school student who begins having nightmares about a burnt maniac named Fred. When Fred kills you in your sleep, he kills you for real. I was born the year before this came out, and it's hard to tell young audiences just how massive Freddy was back in the day. Sequels, parodies, pop culture references, Will Smith songs, and a perennial costume for youngsters, Freddy owned the mid-late 80's/early 90's. The original holds up thanks to Craven's skill, a relatable final girl, Johnny Depp looking like a dream, the memorable kills, and of course Robert Englund's performance. Worth noting that the film is situated firmly in Craven's oeuvre between the themes of dissolution of the American family and the line between reality and fantasy blurring. GRADE: A-

WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE

(Wes Craven, 1994)

Craven never blurred the line between reality and fantasy as much as he did with his meta-reimagining of the franchise he started. Heather Langenkamp plays herself, an actress facing earthquakes, a stalker, and a child who is battling nightmares. When a new Nightmare on Elm Street is put in development at New Line, she's forced to face Freddy Krueger in the real world. I'm not sure this was the first meta horror film, but even after 30 years it's still the most. People involved in the production of the original film - both in front of the camera and behind it - appear as themselves. The film probably runs about 10 minutes too long, but it delivers some splendid sequences. Can we also just acknowledge that Heather was an absolute smokeshow in this? GRADE: B+

The last of the 1999 stuff...

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

(Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez)

The other seminal horror film released in the summer of '99, Blair wasn't the first found footage horror movie but it was the one that helped reinvent the genre. It was the also the first film to really use the internet as a way to market a film. Three film students go missing in 1994 in the deep woods of Maryland while investigating a local legend involving a witch. A year later, their footage is discovered. 

We watch as three stereotypical Gen X-ers smoke, swear, argue, get lost, start to lose their sanity, and ultimately vanish with only the footage as the trace of what happened. It's probably the most divisive film in horror - or even non-horror - history, but I was always on its side. I grew up going camping, and staying in cabins deeeep in the wilderness and know how unsettling those environs can be particularly at night. I also love how much it utilizes folklore - even completely made up - to tell its story. With Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Michael C. Williams. GRADE: A-

SLEEPY HOLLOW

(Tim Burton)

Johnny Depp stars as Ichabod Crane, who in 1799 is sent to the small town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate the beheadings of several people rumored to be caused by the ghostly legend The Headless Horseman. This is a jaw dropper of a gorgeous film. It might be one of the ultimate Fall Vibes movies. The cinematography, costumes, and production design (all Oscar-nominated, the art direction won) are some of the best of the era. The script, however, needed some work. I think it should also be acknowledged the industry never really took proper advantage of the talents of Miranda Richardson, even with two Oscar nominations earlier in the decade. With Christina Ricci, Christopher Walken, and Casper Van Dien. GRADE: B

And a Happy 50th to...

THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE

(Tobe Hooper, 1974)

What a journey this film has had. It started as independent movie sensation, was banned in certain countries, became a Video Nasty, found new life as a teenage rite of passage in the VHS era, and ultimately over the last several decades became the respected horror masterpiece it always deserved to be. Variety just named it the best horror film of all time. I remember in elementary school hearing the title and imagining the most gruesome movie possible. As is always pointed out, it's not really that violent. But the heat of the Texas sun bears down on us, the grimy smells of the slaughterhouse surround us, and that atmosphere of raw horror consumes us. That cinematography, that sound! A young woman and her friends on a road trip through Texas to check on the gravestone of her grandfather come face to face with a clan of redneck cannibals. I just realized watching this that both this and Night of the Living Dead start with a trip to the graveyard and end up in a farmhouse. I would say that film and this one are easily the two best horror films ever, two of the best independent films, two startlingly vicious portrait of America of the Vietnam era, and two of my all-time favorites. With Marilyn Burns and Gunnar Hansen. GRADE: A 

HF: Frankie Goes to Horrorwood

BODY DOUBLE

(Brian De Palma, 1984)

A struggling actor housesitting for a friend becomes enamored with a woman in a nearby apartment. After she's murdered, he uses the help of a porn star to find out who did it. Deliciously salacious thriller from De Palma who knows exactly how to do this type of film. I miss erotic thrillers. Can we bring those back? The twists may be obvious and the director rips off Hitchcock, for sure, but it's also a fascinating snapshot of Los Angeles and the porn industry of the mid 80's. That use of "Relax", though! With Craig Wasson, Melanie Griffith, and Gregg Henry. GRADE: B+

BUTCHER BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER

(William Asher, 1981)

That has to be in the upper echelon of great movie titles. Super campy thriller about a woman (Susan Tyrrell) raising her nephew after his parents are killed in a car accident when he's just an infant. Now a teen, his aunt develops a murderous obsession with him after he wants to go away to college on a basketball scholarship. There's a significant part of the storyline involving a gay character that was shockingly progressive for the era. Occasionally feels like a TV movie with some lascivious content, but Tyrrell is gloriously unhinged. With Jimmy McNichol and Julia Duffy. GRADE: B

DEATH DORM / THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD / PRANKS

(Stephen Carpenter & Jeffrey Obrow, 1982)

The title card said the first title, the DVD said the second title. Scream 2 referenced this by the second title, so I think that gets the final say on what this should be called. The DVD features a trailer with the third title. Oof. A group of college students helps clear out a condemned dormitory over the holidays, but a killer has bloody plans for them. Average slasher fare, this was a very low budget film that was shot (in 16mm!) by a bunch of UCLA students. Amateur, sure, but I dug the eerie ending. Featuring a young Daphne Zuniga among many other brown-haired people. GRADE: C+

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

(J. Lee Thompson, 1981)

Canadian slasher about a young woman (Little House on the Prairie's Melissa Sue Anderson) who may be the prime suspect in the murder of some of her classmates. She survived a car accident a few years prior and has been suffering from blackouts since. I spent most of this confused about whether this was a high school or college. They kept referring to it as an Academy, but the students gathered at a local pub to drink beer at night. Is that legal in Canada? The ending is a big 'huh?' and it turns out the film was rewritten during production. It takes some batshit crazy turns, but it's never boring and the kills are pretty good. With Matt Craven and Glenn Ford. GRADE: B-

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE

(Jacques Tourneur, 1943)

The nice thing about these old horror movies is they are usually very short. This runs just under 70 minutes. The bad thing about that is they sometimes feel like they are only scratching the surface of their story and could use a little more development. This one gets by mostly on atmosphere, which it has in abundance. A nurse is hired for a job in the Caribbean taking care of a plantation owner's wife. There, she encounters voodoo and zombies. Eerie with a palpable sense of dread, I'm digging these Val Lewton movies. With Frances Dee and Tom Conway. GRADE: B+

IT: CHAPTER ONE

(Andy Muschietti, 2017)

I rewatched this because I hadn't seen Part 2. My HF review is in this post. My thoughts are pretty much the same now as then. 

IT: CHAPTER TWO

(Andy Muschietti, 2019)

This might be my most embarrassing blindspot of the past decade or so. How did it take me so long to see this? For its 5 year anniversary, I had to sit down and finally watch, ahem, it. This has most of the same problems too many modern films have: too long, subplots that could've been cut, climax goes on too long, dim photography, cartoonish effects, etc. It's basically the horror equivalent of a Marvel movie. The Losers return 27 years later to battle Pennywise hopefully for good. I'm not sure what the feeling of the novel is, but I remember most agreed the TV movie's first half was better than the second. I figured this would be the case for the film adaptations, but this is still a considerable drop off from the first. The cast is capable and they have solid chemistry. There is a good, tight movie somewhere in the 169 minute runtime. With Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, and Bill Hader. GRADE: C 

LOVERS LANE

(Jon Steven Ward, 2000)

A few months before her breakout in Scary Movie, Anna Faris appeared as a cheerleader in this Pacific Northwest-set slasher. A killer with a hook for a hand goes on a Valentine's Day rampage slicing up the teenage children of the victims of a massacre that happened thirteen years earlier. Mostly dull with routine killings, this skipped theatrical release and debuted as an exclusive at Blockbuster. The hooked killer stalking horny people in a makeout spot was probably better done, well, any other time it was done. With Sarah Lancaster and Matt Riedy. GRADE: D+

THE MACHINIST

(Brad Anderson, 2004)

The most memorable bit of this film is trivia of how much weight Christian Bale lost to play the titular role. (He would bulk up for Batman right after.) It may have been mostly in vain as the film itself isn't that memorable and has seemingly been forgotten. A factory machine operator suffering from insomnia causes an accident that rips off the arm of a coworker. He starts having visions of a coworker only he can see, and continues a psychological freefall that alienates him from the world. Very much your typical Dark Thriller from the era, but the explanation for why everything was happening was at least decent. It probably played a little better at the time it was released, but seems a tad archaic now. With Jennifer Jason Leigh and Michael Ironside. GRADE: C+

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

(Henry Selick, 1993)

Here is my review from last year for the film's 30th anniversary. I got the chance to see this on the big screen in 3D. It was the first time I got to see it in theaters. I actually found the 3D to be lacking? 

THE SEVENTH VICTIM

(Mark Robson, 1943)

Another Val Lewton production, this one follows a young woman (Kim Hunter) who goes to New York City to figure out what happened to her missing sister (Jean Brooks). There, she discovers her sister with severe bangs may have ties to a sinister cult. There's a whole lot of subtext going on here, and I'll probably revisit it again in the future. I felt a little cloudy watching it which may have hindered things, but I did get what happened at the end. Definitely some themes going on that must have been pretty damn shocking 80 years ago. With Tom Conway (again!). GRADE: B

SMILE 2

(Parker Finn, 2024)

A pop star (Naomi Scott) attempts a comeback after a tragic accident partially caused by her addiction problems. That would be enough, but she's also being stalked by a supernatural presence that causes her to hallucinate and see people creepily smiling at her in this sequel to 2022's sleeper hit. The pop approach is probably the film's best and does a good job disguising that this is mostly just a retread, though the setup for the next sequel might yield a better angle for the series. Scott is the real deal and I hope she gets more work from this since she hasn't worked much since her breakthrough 2019. Always nice to see Rosemarie DeWitt. GRADE: B- 

And continuing 1999...

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD

(Martin Scorsese)

It's obviously a stretch to include this in something called Horrorfest because it's a straight drama, but it does feature visions of a dead person and a man haunted by his past. And it has Dead in the title. I REST MY CASE. Anyways, Nicolas Cage plays a New York City paramedic who over the course of three nights begins to emotionally collapse. During an attempt to rescue a man who had a heart attack, he falls for the man's troubled daughter (Patricia Arquette) and she might be his path to redemption. Robert Richardson's cinematography is phenomenal, and this is also one of Cage's best performances. Lots of wonderful actors pop up throughout, but I was surprised how good Tom Sizemore was as Cage's third night co-worker. The first half is better, though, and once it goes more into it's drug fueled second half it loses a bit of its way. GRADE: B

LAKE PLACID

(Steve Miner)

I rewatched this five years ago, but either I didn't log it for HF or it was at another time of the year. I saw it when it came to VHS after opening, and have seen bits and pieces on cable over the years. It's a fun, breezy watch. In Maine, scientists team with local law enforcement to investigate a giant animal tooth in a man's body found in the lake. Could it be a giant croc in freshwater far from any warm climate? Scripted by David E. Kelley, the film has memorable characters, great one-liners, and lots of bloody croc action. It's also only 80 minutes, and probably would've benefitted from another 5-10 minutes. With Bridget Fonda, Bill Pullman, Brendan Gleeson, Oliver Platt, a brief appearance by 

Mariska Hargitay, and of course Betty White. GRADE: B+

SUMMER OF SAM

(Spike Lee)

Ensemble drama about the denizens of a predominantly Italian-American Bronx neighborhood in 1977 when the Son of Sam killer had the city on edge. I discovered while reading up on the film that Lee had changed the screenplay after the families of some of the victims didn't want a film about the serial killer. Also, he changed the focus of the film from Adrien Brody's punk character to John Leguizamo's womanizer. The latter was definitely a mistake, but all the lead characters just didn't hold my interest. The smaller characters (played by a variety of TV and stage veterans) are much more fascinating. Some terrific cinematography and a memorable soundtrack give the film a vivid sense of place, but the film just ends in a big whimper. With Mira Sorvino, Jennifer Esposito, and Ben Gazzara. GRADE: C+

Horrorfest: Busting Makes Me Feel Goo

AZRAEL

(E.L. Katz, 2024)

Standard apocalyptical thriller about a woman (Samara Weaving) on the run from a deadly cult in a world where people have taken a vow of silence. Reading a synopsis for the film yields more information about the plot than what the film gives you, but its basically The Road or Stake Land crossed with A Quiet Place. The "burnt ones" in the film are a cool villain (ha!) and more Weaving is always welcome, but this felt very 'been there, done that'. Good final shot! GRADE: C

BAGMAN

(Colm McCarthy, 2024)

A man finds his childhood fear returning when his financially troubled family is terrorized by a mythical creature known as Bagman. The monster will come for good kids and steal them away in his bag. I think this film has been done so many times before, and this film brings nothing new to the table. The recent Imaginary had a very similar storyline even bringing in the mythological origins of our childhood fears. Though this isn't nearly as bad as that film was. And for another similar entry in this subgenre, scroll down for They. Sam Claflin stars. GRADE: C-

BEETLEJUICE

(Tim Burton, 1988)

I would say this is easily one of my ten most watched movies of all time. Can't even begin to count the number of times I have seen it on VHS/cable/etc growing up. I hadn't actually watched the whole thing, though, in years. With the sequel opening, it was time for another viewing. It holds up after all these years. Great ensemble, inventive gags, Oscar-winning makeup, and it's kind of a shock a big studio took a risk on such zany material. Michael Keaton stars as a demon summoned by a recently deceased couple to help kick out the living family currently inhabiting and remodeling their Connecticut home. Can I just add that Catherine O'Hara's Delia Deetz remains one of the best characters of the era? I think the final act is a little too rushed, probably could've used another few minutes. With Winona Ryder, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, and the terrific Glenn Shadix as Otho. Another great character. GRADE: B+

BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE

(Tim Burton, 2024)

Busy sequel in which Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) is once again entangled with the Deetz clan after the passing of the father. That's one of about half a dozen storylines swirling about, only half of which actually work. The ensemble is again terrific, and probably overall the best aspect here as well as the more practical visuals and design. It's doubtful audiences will still be watching this 35 years from now the way they still are the first film, but they could do a lot worse. It does have its funny moments, but I'm not sure how I feel about that ending. Ryder and O'Hara return, with Jenna Ortega, Monica Belluci, and Willem Dafoe rounding out the cast. GRADE: B- 

BLADE 2

(Guillermo Del Toro, 2002)

I watched the first for last year's 25 anniversary. I'd not seen either sequel so I rectified that this year. Probably just should have stuck with the original. Easily Del Toro's worst film, the second film finds Blade teaming up with some vampires to destroy a new breed of vampire. The director's trademarks are felt throughout, but perhaps it would have been better if he had started the franchise as opposed to joining it. I swear this film is just the same scene over and over, vampires fighting in underground lairs. With Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman, and Norman Reedus. GRADE: C

BLADE: TRINITY

(David S. Goyer, 2004) 

Blade is now joined by Ryan Reynolds (playing himself, as always) and Jessica Biel to fight the biggest vampire yet (Dracula!) in this even more limp sequel. If the second film was scene after scene in rave-y warehouses, this one exhausts the use of tech buildings and people being shoved through glass walls and falling from high stories. Even worse, it completely wastes Parker Posey as a vampire villainess in favor of the bland Dominic Purcell. Though I didn't like Deadpool & Wolverine, Blade's appearance in that was one of its few highs. Who knows if the Mahershala Ali iteration will ever get off the ground. Natasha Lyonne also appears. GRADE: C-

CASTLE OF BLOOD

(Sergio Corbucci & Antonio Margheriti, 1964)

Let me just say the best thing about this might be the shirtless Italian stud/ghost running around during the second half. Damn. Giovanni Cianfriglia was his name. This is an adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe's "Danse Macabre" in which a journalist is bet to spend a night in a supposedly haunted castle on Halloween night. There, he encounters the ghosts of people murdered in the house and gets entangled in their drama. Poe himself is actually a character in the early scenes of the film. A simple but spooky good time. With Barbara Steele and Georges Rivière. GRADE: B

GHOSTBUSTERS

(Ivan Reitman, 1984)

Like Beetlejuice, I don't know the last time I sat down and watched this or its sequel the entire way through. Probably decades ago. I think I mixed up elements of each and didn't quite remember the difference between the installments. The first follows a group of scientists who become ghost removers in New York City. I think the backlash to the 2016 reboot caused some to inflate the quality of this. It's a good movie with a fun cast and memorable moments, but I don't think it was ever anything more. Happy 40th! Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson play the paranormal police. GRADE: B

GHOSTBUSTERS 2

(Ivan Reitman, 1989)

I feel like in numerous reviews I read Roger Ebert would talk about certain films being a bunch of scenes in search of a movie. That's what this sequel felt like. The quartet return to battle ghosts and take possession of the Statue of Liberty in the process. I guess I actually forgot most of this film minus the pink slime coming out of the tub scene and the baby on the ledge. Ramis and Hudson have almost nothing to do and the story is more concerned with Murray and Sigourney Weaver, a part that feels a bit strained. After revisiting this, I can safely rank the 2016 film as the second best of the franchise. GRADE: C

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

(Neil Jordan, 1994)

I saw this on VHS summer of '95 and haven't seen a second of it since. I thought it was fine at the time, and that's about how I feel about it now. That era was all about blockbuster film adaptations of huge books. In the 18th century, a man (Brad Pitt) loses his family and is turned into a vampire by Lestat (Tom Cruise), who desires companionship. I remember it not being that controversial at the time for two such big stars (well, Pitt was still ascending) to play in something so blatantly homoerotic. Both actors are fine, Cruise relying more on his natural charisma. The real reason to see this is a young Kirsten Dunst as their "daughter". She truly had the skills from the get-go. Great production design, but it loses its footing once it moves the action overseas. With Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater. GRADE: B-

MONSTER SUMMER

(David Henrie, 2024)

In 1997, a group of tweens begins to sense an evil entity in their small tourist town after several of their friends start exuding strange behavior. Mel Gibson plays a retired detective who helps them investigate, while Lorraine Bracco is a children's book author who they suspect of being a witch. This is trying to be some kind or more real world version of Stranger Things, It, or Hocus Pocus but fails at being fun or spooky. The scenery is nice, though. GRADE: C

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2

(Brian Trenchard-Smith, 1994)

I loved the original which I watched 15 years ago before I started logging my horrorfest watches. Probably one of the most fun 80's horror-comedies out there. I remember the posters for these sequels on my man trips to the video store as a tween. The direct to video sequels don't live up to it, sadly. The first sequel does have its fans. The plot is very similar to the first - a group of teens tries to throw a party at the haunted Hull House where demon Angela now resides. Outside of an amusing bit where one of the victims plays basketball with his own head, this is mostly a bore and nowhere near as fun as the first. Amelia Kinkade returns from the first, while the new cast features a young Christine Taylor. GRADE: C-

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 3

(Jimmy Kaufman, 1997)

Part 2 is a masterwork compared to this trash. A group of teens hides out in Hull House after shooting a police officer during an altercation at a convenient store. Hull House is completely different in this sequel losing most of the atmosphere from the first two, with the humor gone as well. The characters are annoying and the acting is pretty bad. Very much what you'd expect from a mid/late 90's direct to video horror sequel. Kinkade appears again. GRADE: D

THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER

(Charles Laughton, 1955)

During the Great Depression, a priest/serial killer (Robert Mitchum) stalks two children who know the whereabouts of a stash of money their executed convict father stole. It would be fair to call this one your favorite filmmakers favorite film as its frequently cited in Letterboxd interviews and has been referenced and, sure, ripped off countless times. This was Laughton's only film as the reaction to it at the time was negative. Thank goodness for time showing it for the masterpiece it is. The film has elements that are dreamlike, mesmerizingly contrasted with the very dark story. And that Cinematography! Insane! Some shots here will take your breath away. Great performances across the board, the cast includes Shelley Winters and Lillian Gish. GRADE: A

NIGHTWATCH

(Ole Bornedal, 1998)

I saw the original 1994 Danish film twenty years ago, but never got around to the remake until now. It's from the same director, even though this was another one of the umpteen movies that was hijacked by the Weinsteins with lots of reshoots and recuts. I didn't care for the original that much, I don't remember what issues I had with it. Maybe it's due for a rewatch soon, if not just to see a young Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and also because there was a recent sequel. This remake doesn't work at all. The film follows a law student (Ewan McGregor) who takes a job as a morgue night watchman just as a serial killer is on the loose killing prostitutes. Not suspenseful and mostly a bore, with a strong cast completely wasted. With Nick Nolte, Patricia Arquette, Lauren Graham, and Josh Brolin. GRADE: C-

STIGMATA

(Rupert Wainwright, 1999)

Patricia Arquette (again!) plays a Pittsburgh hairdresser who starts to have violent wounds similar to the stigmata of Jesus. A priest (Gabriel Byrne) is sent to investigate in this average possession horror. This was a small hit when released in the fall of 1999, I saw it when it came to VHS and didn't remember much about it or how I felt. Everything in it has been done so many times since, and coming two and a half decades after The Exorcist, it fails in comparison to that classic. At least Patricia is better utilized here than in Nightwatch, where it was clear her part was seriously trimmed down. The film showing Pittsburgh as some hopping metropolis with giant raves is unintentionally hilarious. Also with Jonathan Pryce and Nia Long. GRADE: C

STOPMOTION

(Robert Morgan, 2024)

After her mother is hospitalized, a young animator (Aisling Franciosi) struggles to finish her mother's stop-motion film. The stress of the situation soon causes her to psychologically deteriorate and blur the lines between the film and reality. I probably have written a similar synopsis a few times over the years. The film has a striking use of the stop-motion format, but I couldn't help but wonder if they should have just made the whole thing in the format. After this, Speak No Evil, and The Nightingale, I continue to be impressed by Franciosi and good on her not shying away from darker material. GRADE: B

TERRIFIER 3

(Damien Leone, 2024)

Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton) continues his killing spree, this time going after Sienna (Lauren LaVera) during the Christmas season. This is probably my last foray into this franchise. The gore-for-gore's sake is probably my least favorite subgenre of horror. Absurd violence and mean-spiritedness aside, the film is just boring after awhile. Outside of my sentence-long description of the plot, there is nothing. For 125 minutes. And it's never once suspenseful. The makeup work is impressive, but I mostly just sat there thinking about how much produce they ruined to get the sound design just right. Enjoy it, gorehounds. GRADE: C-

WES CRAVEN PRESENTS: THEY

(Robert Harmon, 2002)

Wes Craven actually had nothing to do with the production of the film. I saw this theatrically a week or so after Thanksgiving weekend 2002. (Upon researching it, I thought this was dumped into a few hundred theaters, but it was actually fully wide and grossed about $13m. My mind is playing tricks on me in my old age.) I figured it would be another Phantoms, in that I enjoyed it at the time but it doesn't hold up. Well, I still kinda liked it. It's not "good", though. Laura Regan plays a psychology student forced to face a supernatural force from her childhood after an old friend with similar trauma commits suicide. Ultimately its a bit too vague with what "they" are, but it's still a decent creepy time. With Ethan Embry, Marc Blucas, and Dagmara Dominczyk, an actress who has seen a higher profile in the past couple of years. GRADE: B-

THIRST

(Park Chan-wook, 2009)

Song Kang-ho stars a priest who volunteers to be infected with a virus. During a blood transfusion, he's turned into a vampire and finds himself very thirsty for both blood and sex. He gets blood from the hospital he works at, while starting an affair with a family friend (Kim Ok-bin). The blood flows freely in typical Park fashion, and it's fun to watch his twisted take on standard bloodsucker conventions. Despite some heavy themes, it's ultimately light as a blood rush to the head. GRADE: B 

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

(Mel Brooks, 1974)

Gene Wilder stars as Dr. Frankenstein, who travels to Transylvania after inheriting his grandfather's estate. There, he attempts to finish the man's scientific experiment of reviving a corpse. Brooks's very funny spoof of Mary Shelley's classic is brought to life (har!) by a stellar production and an amazing cast. Wilder, Teri Garr, Marty Feldman, Cloris Leachman, Madeline Kahn, and Peter Boyle are aces. Igor was probably my favorite character. I have a boxed set of the director's works, so I'll be checking more of those out. I've only seen Spaceballs, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, and Robin Hood: Men In Tights. GRADE: B+

Horrorfest: Now With Gimmicks

Happy October!

13 GHOSTS

(William Castle, 1960)

If you saw this theatrically (Jesus, you're old!) or had a certain limited edition DVD, you might have gotten to see it the way it was intended: in "Illusion-O" with a special ghost viewer. Such a shame that the 2001 remake was so awful, because this might have been a fun gimmick to try again in the age of the IMAX 3D. A financially strapped family inherits a home along with its deceased inhabitants. Inside is also a hidden fortune. Gimmicky, sure, but with fun special effects and the film would be a good introduction to the genre for youngsters too scared for more modern fare. With Martin Milner, Rosemary DeCamp, and the Wicked Witch of the West herself, Margaret Hamilton. GRADE: B

DEAD CALM

(Phillip Noyce, 1989)

Being a Kidmaniac, I first watched this in the late 90's on VHS and really liked it. I'm happy to say it held up well. I believe I previously mentioned how we need more 'terror on the high seas' films, and this would easily be one of the best. A couple (Sam Neill and Nicole Kidman, who only turned 20 a month into production) who recently lost their son in a tragic accident takes a vacation in a huge yacht. In the middle of the ocean, they encounter a sole survivor (Billy Zane at his hottest) from a sinking sailboat. Was he responsible for the deaths of everyone on board? Are they next? How frizzy will Nicole's hair get? A tense experience, with the trio of actors doing good work. GRADE: B+

THE GREAT ALLIGATOR

(Sergio Martino, 1979)

Ridiculous but entertaining Italian horror about a crocodile killing tourists on a tropical island just as a new resort is about to open. The croc is believed to be a God incarnated and sent to kill those who have destroyed the island. It also has some of the most hilarious, fake miniatures in underwater shots. The film has been criticized for being a Jaws ripoff, though the croc isn't particularly scary in this. It may have been ahead of its time in the aspect involving people colonizing the land getting their comeuppance. With Barbara Bach, Mel Ferrer, and Claudio Cassinelli. GRADE: C+

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA: TRANSFORMANIA

(Derek Drymon & Jennifer Kluska, 2022)

Laugh free fourth installment of the popular franchise, this one debuted on Prime two years ago and Adam Sandler didn't return as the voice of Dracula. It focuses more on the relationship between his daughter and her husband, who makes Van Helsing turn him into a creature to please his father-in-law. I'd say this franchise has easily run its course by now. The gags feel strained and most of the performers sound over it. With Selena Gomez and Andy Samberg. GRADE: C-

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL

(William Castle, 1959)

Vincent Price plays a wealthy man who gets five guests to spend the night at a haunted house. If they survive the night, they'll get $10k each. In the midst of the festivities, Price tangles with his wife (Carol Omhart) who has a few surprises of her own. Their back and forth leads to some fun dialogue, the twists are fresh, and the runtime clocks in a just 75 minutes. The gimmick Castle had with this one was a skeleton on a string which flew through the theater as audiences watched the film. My thoughts on the remake are below. GRADE: B+ 

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

(Stephen Chiodo, 1988)

Intentionally dumb comedy sci-fi about a pack of killer clowns from outer space (!!!) who set up their circus tent to lure people in and feed off their bodies. It's harmless PG-13 80's fluff, though I get the feeling this is one of those that you had to have grown up with to love. Fun, sure, but it also feels like its one joke has been stretched as far as it can go even at only 88 minutes. With Grant Cramer and Suzanne Snyder. GRADE: B-

MUTE WITNESS

(Anthony Waller, 1995)

Not sure why this one evaded me for so long, as it was a pretty famous mid 90's horror/comedy title. I was surprised that most of it was in English. For some reason, I had always assumed this was a foreign film. A mute woman (Marina Zudina) working on a movie set in Russia accidentally sees some of her fellow crew members making their own snuff film late at night. She finds herself entangled with the Russia mob after going to the authorities. Yeah, this is more of a 90's mob film than an all-out slasher, which really disappointed me. That era definitely did not need more mafia films. With Fay Ripley and Evan Richards. GRADE: C+

NEVER LET GO

(Alejandre Aja, 2024)

Halle Berry plays a mother to two boys (Percy Daggs IV and Anthony B. Jenkins) in a cabin in the woods supposedly after an apocalyptic event. A supernatural presence lurks in the trees and the only way to be safe while outside is to hold on to a rope and not let go. Or something. Is there an actual evil force or is their mother suffering from schizophrenia? I should've known this would have issues because the trailers were so obtuse about what was happening. Inherited TRAUMA and all that. It just doesn't work, sadly, despite a decent twist halfway through. Probably needed a few more rewrites to get across what it wanted to say. Good use of "Big Rock Candy Mountain", though! GRADE: C-

SPEAK NO EVIL

(James Watkins, 2024)

Solid remake to the very recent film that I reviewed in the first round. Some are mad that this is a very typical American remake, but I think that's a bit reductive. If the original was Funny Games, this is closer to Last House on the Left than an outright crowdpleaser. Not surprising, Watkins directed the terrific, underrated Eden Lake. Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis are an American couple invited to the countryside of, uh, some European place by a couple (James McAvoy and Aisling Franciosi). There, the couple's behavior grows increasingly unhinged. It detours significantly from the original in the final act and the mystery involving the son, Ant, gets more development. Oh, and James McAvoy's calves. Yum. GRADE: B

THE TINGLER

(William Castle, 1959)

Third film in this go-round from Castle and probably my least favorite. Vincent Price plays a pathologist who believes a tiny parasitic monster manifests itself anytime someone is scared. He attempts an experiment on the owners of a silent movie theater. Interesting tidbit: this was the first film to feature a LSD trip. The film's big sequence involves the creature let loose on the audience of the cinema, with Castle providing gimmicks for the audience who saw The Tingler: hidden buzzers and paid performers added to the scene. Outside of that part, most of this is a slog. With Darryl Hickman and Patricia Cutts. GRADE: C

THE TOXIC AVENGER

(Michael Herz & Lloyd Kaufman, 1986)

Crude as can be 80's comedy shlock about a gym janitor who after an encounter with some toxic waste becomes a monstrous hero for his New Jersey town. Given the amount of sequels and an upcoming remake, this has a strong cult following but I won't count myself among its groupies. The crudeness is cranked up to a cringe-worthy level, with excessive 80's un-PC humor. Some of the humor delivers, but it's all just so over the top at every turn. With Mitch Cohen and Andree Maranda. GRADE: C

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS

(Fred Walton, 1979)

I think I watched this back in '97/'98 when I was inhaling every horror movie I could. I don't even remember what I thought about it, I think I mostly liked it? Certainly the iconic opening left an impression. Carol Kane plays a babysitter who gets menacing phone calls eventually leading to the murder of the children upstairs. "Have you checked the children?" Years later, a private detective (Charles Durning) is hired to find the killer after he escapes a mental institution. The opening and closing scenes with Kane are the film's best, though I appreciated the slow burn middle section even if some find it a bit too staid. Kane is fantastic, and I hope people check out her terrific work in the recent Between the Temples. GRADE: B+

WITCH STORY

(Alessandro Capone, 1989)

Siblings along with some friends go to Florida to check out a house they just inherited. Turns out the locals burned a witch alive there decades earlier and she now haunts the grounds. This probably has a few too many characters and a lot of them look exactly alike (thank god they had a black friend!), but the kills are pretty good and the characters aren't too annoying. The actress who played the witch was Deanna Lund and she was so good, very alluring but still ominous. I wish we got more scenes with her. GRADE: B-

1994 stuff...

SERIAL MOM

(John Waters)

Kathleen Turner is spot on perfection in this very funny satirical comedy about a dentist's wife who has an obsession with serial killers. She begins murdering those in her community who disrespect her family. Probably one of Waters most mainstream films, this has become a cult favorite over the years and for good reason. I need to make it a goal to watch more of his films. Turner's performance might be one of the best comedic works of the 90's. It does lose a bit of steam once it gets to the trial scenes. I'll never think of pussy willows the same way again. Poor Mink Stole. Sam Waterston, Ricki Lake, and Matthew Lillard round out the cast. GRADE: B+

WOLF

(Mike Nichols)

I haven't watched this since VHS back in '95. It certainly had heavy cable play back in the day. Jack Nicholson plays an editor who is bitten by a wolf in the woods outside of New York and slowly turns into a werewolf. Michelle Pfeiffer plays the daughter of his employer (Christopher Plummer) who finds herself drawn to him. The scenes of Jack as the wolf are a bit hokey, as he looks ridiculous. Though the dialogue is occasionally sharp, the ending is amusingly stupid. Those last shots do nothing to go against my argument that Michelle may be the most beautiful woman to ever grace the silver screen. I was thinking while watching this if it were made today it would star Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie. With James Spader and Kate Nelligan. GRADE: B-

1999 stuff...

THE 13TH WARRIOR

(John McTiernan)

This had a troubled production and McTiernan was replaced by Michael Crichton during reshoots. The production issues are probably more interesting than the final product. Antonio Banderas plays a Muslim who helps a gang of Vikings take back their land after it was attacked by an ancient evil. Cannibals. The production is big, the budget was massive. It looks pretty good, but the story is completely uninvolving. Omar Shariff also appears. GRADE: C

THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE

(Rand Ravich)

Rosemary's Baby knockoff about a woman (Charlize Theron) who begins to suspect her astronaut husband (Johnny Depp) might be possessed by an otherworldly entity after he and his fellow astronaut lost contact with Earth for a few minutes while in space. Time has pretty much forgotten this dud, which bombed with critics and audiences when it was released in late August that year. Charlize is pretty good, though she mined similar territory in The Devil's Advocate 2 years prior. Depp sleepwalks through the role, though this might be the hottest he ever was. The ending is so dumb. GRADE: D+

THE BONE COLLECTOR

(Phillip Noyce)

Coming at the tail end of the 90's serial killer craze is this generic thriller. Denzel Washington plays a quadriplegic forensic expert who helps a novice cop (Angelina Jolie) track a serial killer. The killer leaves tiny shards of bones from his victims at the crime scene. How has this never been made into a CBS procedural? It doesn't really offer up anything to distinguish itself from the glut of similar films that opened in the era. I did not appreciate what the film does to Queen Latifah. GRADE: C

DEEP BLUE SEA

(Renny Harlin)

Scientists experiment with genetically modified sharks to develop a cure for Alzheimer's but end up creating smarter, bigger sharks in the process. I saw this at home shortly after it opened, and have watched bits and pieces over the years. I did see both direct-to-DVD sequels, but I don't remember a single thing about them other than they were bad. The original is still fun after all these years and many other sharksploitation films. Gory, fun kills, though some of the shark effects haven't held up well. Plus, Thomas Jane in a wetsuit. The less said about LL Cool J's end credits song, the better. With Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, and Stellan Skarsgård. GRADE: B

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL

(William Malone)

Remake of the William Castle film in which an amusement attraction designer (Geoffrey Rush) hosts his wife's birthday party in an insane asylum, inviting random strangers to spend the night with the chance to win a million dollars if they make it to morning. I liked this when I watched it when it came to video in early 2000, but it hasn't held up well. Ah, the perils of watching films you loved when you were 16! The cast struggles with the bad writing, and Rush's Price homage is never as fun as it should be. The production design of the asylum is great, however, and some of the ways the ghosts are incorporated are clever. It's just never fun or scary, though an early scene involving a roller coaster hits both notes. There was a direct-to-DVD sequel that was bad, but I barely remember it. With Famke Janssen, Ali Larter, and Taye Diggs. GRADE: C

2004 rewatches...

DAWN OF THE DEAD

(Zach Snyder)

This is the unrated director's cut, not the theatrical version. I don't think I've seen the theatrical version since theaters, so this is the only "Snyder Cut" I care about. Sarah Polley (making a very capable action babe) plays a nurse who awakens to a nightmare when her Milwaukee suburb has been overrun with the living dead. She joins a group of strangers as they take refuge in a desolate modern shopping center. I watched the original for last year's fest, one of my favorite revisits in recent years. This film doesn't seem to understand what Romero was saying with that film, but does work on its own terms as an action film. The sequences that bookend the film are absolute doozies, the best thing Snyder has ever directed. He did a lot with only a fraction of the budget. There are a bit too many slo-mo shots of guns being fired, but the tech aspects are top notch, the characters are memorable, and the writing isn't dumb. Just don't look for any of the satire that made the original one of the GOATs. With Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Ty Burrell, and Mekhi Phifer. GRADE: B+ 

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

(Edgar Wright)

Saw it theatrically during the one week my theater had it, and have watched it many times over the years. I can vividly remember how this film had its own distinct rhythm in comparison to many comedies of the mid aughts. Happy 20th to the first official zom-rom-com about a slacker named Shaun (Simon Pegg) who must man up when the zombie apocalypse hits his small London town. His big plan involves getting his mother and friends to his local pub to wait things out. Fast paced with great lines and memorable characters, I still find myself surprised by how great Pegg was in the films in Wright's Cornetto trilogy. Legit should have been nominated for an Oscar for this and At World's End. Shaun also has the greatest homage to Night of the Living Dead in zombie movie history. With Nick Frost, Penelope Wilton, and Bill Nighy. GRADE: A-