First watches...
THE BLACK PHONE 2
(Scott Derrickson, 2025)
I watched the original for HF2022. I did not care for it, but this sequel is even worse. Stretching its story thin over just under two hours, the film follows the forgettable characters from the original as they go to a youth resort in the snowy mountains because the sister is now psychic and some kids were murdered by The Grabber (Ethan Hawke, wasted) are trying to contact her. Ugh with the grainy footage. It semi-worked in Sinister but is overused in this and doesn't make anything scarier. Another sad reminder that I haven't liked a single one of Derrickson's films. With Mason Thames, Madeleine McGraw, and Demián Bichir. GRADE: C-
BODY PARTS
(Eric Red, 1991)
Using a groundbreaking procedure, the body parts of a killer are transplanted to various men including a criminal psychologist (Jeff Fahey) who lost his arm in an automobile accident. Initially happy he's able to have an arm, he soon realizes that the arm still very much belongs to the killer as it has violent tendencies of its own. Surprised to learn this wasn't adapted from a Stephen King story, this has that feel of the early 90's horror with its suspicion of technology and aspects of body horror. Engaging, and a bit of an underseen little gem. With Lindsay Duncan, Kim Delaney, and Brad Douriff. GRADE: B
CHERRY FALLS
(Geoffrey Wright, 2000)
Yes, there are horror films from that era I'm still catching up with. I guess I held off so long with this one because I thought they would someday release the uncut version that allegedly exists. This had a long, troubled history with the MPAA and was eventually dumped on USA Network. In a sleepy Virginia town, a serial killer begins targeting virginal teens leading to the already hormonal teens to try and lose their virginities as soon as possible. Equal parts horror and comedy, I'm happy to say its a solid mix even if the whodunit aspect (already overused at the time) has an obvious conclusion and most of the kills are standard. Some great writing, with Brittany Murphy making a terrific final girl. With Michael Biehn, Gabriel Mann, and Jay Mohr. GRADE: B
GOOD BOY
(Ben Leonberg, 2025)
A terminally ill man retreats to his grandfather's old home in the woods and soon loses his sanity as a supernatural presence takes over. Did I mention that this all is told from the perspective of his dog? It's a big risk, but it works. Though in my experience with dogs, I think that dog probably would have freaked out and barked a lot more. Indy the Dog gives a compelling and sentimental performance. I like the joke several people have made that if this were from the perspective of a cat, the movie would have ended after several minutes because the cat would have just been like whatever. GRADE: B
HELL OF A SUMMER
(Billy Bryk & Finn Wolfhard, 2025)
Pretty obvious this was written and directed by a bunch of early twentysomethings, and even the tongue in cheek Gen Z skewing is eye rolling to this older millennial. As camp counselors arrive for the summer season, a killer starts killing them off one by one. We've seen that countless times and outside of its young viewpoint, it offers nothing new. Humor and horror both fall flat. With Fred Hechinger, Abby Quinn, and both directors also co-star. GRADE: C-
THE KEEP
(Michael Mann, 1983)
The first of two horror films Mann directed, the other was the great Manhunter. This also had a troubled production history, apparently there was a three hour original cut. Perhaps that might have made a bit more sense, as this 90-ish minute version is rather murky. However, the score by Tangerine Dream and visuals are stunning and create an enticing dream-like atmosphere. In World War II Romania, a group of Nazis find a hidden stone fortress and unleash an ancient evil. With Scott Glenn, Alberta Watson, and Ian McKellan. GRADE: C+
MOTHER'S BOYS
(Yves Simoneau, 1994)
Jamie Lee Curtis stars as a woman who returns to her husband and three sons after leaving them three years earlier. The husband (Peter Gallagher) is now seeing an assistant principal (Joanne Whalley), and the psychotic mother will do whatever she can to get her family back. Yes, it's a mid 90's trashy thriller. Curtis is very good, one of the few times she's played an all-out villain. It's not a good movie, but it is pretty entertaining for most of its runtime. I wish they had fleshed out Jamie's character a tad more, there's only hints of why she is the way she is. They also don't really explain what drew the husband to her to begin with. You might remember this movie's poster hanging in the background of the video store scene in Scream. Luke Edwards, as the oldest son, is also very good. Vanessa Redgrave also appears. GRADE: C+
ORCA: THE KILLER WHALE
(Michael Anderson, 1977)
One of the umpteen Jaws knockoffs from that era, this leans heavily into the man vs nature existentialism. The main problem is Orcas are just too non-threatening to be as scary as a great white. I mean, they look like they're smiling? In Newfoundland, a fisherman (Richard Harris) becomes the target of vengeance by a killer whale after killing its mate. Orcas are monogamous, we learn from a whale expert played by Charlotte Rampling (sexualizing every line like only she can). Standard killer animal fare, but there is some jaw dropping cinematography. All those foggy mountains in the sea town were gorgeously captured. GRADE: C+
RACE WITH THE DEVIL
(Jack Starrett, 1975)
Two couples on a cross country road trip in an RV witness a cult making a human sacrifice and must go on the run from the dangerous sect. This stars Peter Fonda and Warren Oates, two actors known for iconic road movies; the former was in Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry and Easy Rider, while the latter was in Two-Lane Blacktop. The cult sequences are really disquieting, and the film ends in a thrilling big road race stunt show. The two genres blend well together, surprisingly. I'm shocked this was never remade, especially given the glut of car movies and horror remakes from twenty or so years ago. With Loretta Swit and Lara Parker. GRADE: B+
Anniversary rewatches...
DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT
(Mel Brooks, 1995)
I saw this when it came to VHS back in the summer of 96 and thinking it was fine, but I'm strapped for comedies at this time of year. (Hence, the next film on this post.) Probably the weakest of the Brooks' films I've seen, it stars Leslie Nielsen as Dracula. That should be promising enough, but most of the film adheres to the Bram Stoker storyline so closely that it never really finds any comedic groove or originality. A cute gag here and there aren't really enough. Co-starring two Wings co-stars, Steven Weber (working that longer hair) and Amy Yasbeck. GRADE: C
THE RING TWO
(Hideo Nakata, 2005)
Haven't revisited this since seeing it in theaters. I think I sorta liked it then, but it doesn't hold up. Reviews from critics and audiences weren't good. The film quickly drops the cursed videotape angle and finds Samara trying to possess Aiden thus making Rachel her new mommy. Samara has mommy issues, clearly. The story doesn't really work and feels like a thin link between horror set pieces. The brief appearance by Sissy Spacek is the film's best moment. Interesting to note that Nakata directed the Japanese original and its sequel, but I'm not sure how close this sticks to the original sequel. Naomi Watts and David Dorfman return from the first. GRADE: C
SCARY MOVIE
(Keenan Ivory Wayans, 2000)
After re-watching this for the first time since it first came to VHS, I can safely say I think 3 and 4 are probably the best of the franchise. I fully expected some gags didn't age well, but most of it still works. Anna Faris and Regina Hall were comedic geniuses from the beginning, though I forgot how little the latter is actually in this. Her Scream 2 parody sequence is probably the film's highlight. A masked killer stalks teenagers in this sendup of the recent slate of slasher and horror blockbusters, most notably Scream. I'm going to assume you all know the obvious gag here is that Scream was originally titled Scary Movie. Fun cast! With Marlon and Shawn Wayans, Cheri Oteri, and Shannon Elizabeth. GRADE: B-
WALLACE & GROMIT: THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT
(Steve Box & Nick Park, 2005)
The 2005 Animated Feature Oscar-winner finds the pest controller and his loyal dog accidentally turning one of their captured rabbits into a "were-rabbit" which wreaks havoc in their small community. The creature threatens to ruin a vegetable festival happening in a few days. A fun time with cute gags, there's even some more adult-aimed gags. Not sure I picked up on them when I saw this theatrically when it first opened. I do remember the rabbits stealing the show. Voices by Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, and Helena Bonham Carter. GRADE: B+
WAR OF THE WORLDS
(Steven Spielberg, 2005)
Can't say I've had the "pleasure" of watching the recent Amazon update of this. I do remember watching the TV series in the late 80's and it scaring the shit out of me. I might have to see if that's avabilable anywhere and do a full watch. Spielberg's sci-fi blockbuster came at the height (nadir?) of TomKat, and used 9/11-esque imagery to update the Orwell classic. Oh, the mid aughts! Tom Cruise stars as a dockworker asshole who finds himself and his estranged children in the middle of an alien invasion. The visual effects for the most part have aged very well, and there are some spectacular set pieces. It's a bit too exposition heavy, particularly the ending. I think its the better of the two Spielberg films from that year. With a terrific Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, and Tim Robbins. GRADE: B+
And now my watch of the franchise of the damned...
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED
(Wolf Rilla, 1960)
Adapted from the book "The Midwich Cuckoos", the film follows the small village of Midwich. One day, every in the town passes out. After waking up, they find that many of the women in the town are pregnant. Several years later, their young children all look alike - with similar hair and eyes and appear to be telepathic. This was my first watch of this, and its a solid little horror. I don't know how well it stuck to the book, but the '95 remake follows pretty closely to this with much added violence. I saw the remake numerous times but I guess took seeing this to pick up on the Aryan metaphor. With George Sanders and Barbara Shelley. GRADE: B+
CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED
(Anton Leader, 1964)
A sequel only in spirit, this follows a British psychologist and geneticist who study six children from all over the world who have powers and were born from a blackout. The most amusing thing about this might be how hard it goes out of its way to tell us the two lead characters aren't gay, when it's so obvious. It also depicts the children in an interesting gray area, where they claim to not be aliens but advanced humans. Surprisingly eerie ending! The kids are also not just white with white hair and glowing eyes, but are actually diverse. Hey, sequels in 1964 were woke, too! With Ian Hendry and Alan Badel. GRADE: B
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED
(John Carpenter, 1995)
This is exactly the sort of film a preteen like myself used as a stepping stone to other horrors. Despite an R-rating, it would probably pass for PG-13 now even with considerable violence. It follows the storyline of the original 1960 film very closely, with Christopher Reeve (his last theatrical release before his accident) as the doctor and Kirstie Alley (playing a character who could have easily been out of The X-Files) as the secretive government agent observing the children. I recently found out that this was shot in some of the same locations as The Fog. I'd love to live in a place like that. The first 40 minutes are really good, but it loses steam once the children are shown. I was shocked to learn that those weren't wigs, but hair dye. I kind of hate the overall styling of the children, as they look straight out of the black and white original. There was a recent miniseries adaptation called Midwich, it seems like something that work well in that format. With Linda Kozlowski, Mark Hamill, and Thomas Dekker. GRADE: B
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