BONES
(Ernest R. Dickerson, 2001)
Snoop Dogg plays a gangster who is gunned down in 1979 after being betrayed by some corrupt cops. Two decades later, a group of teens plan a party in his now rundown mansion and unwittingly unleash his spirit. This took forever to get going and once it did it sadly wasn't enough. The plotline only reminds you of how well Night of the Demons did something similar. Also with Pam Grier and Michael T. Weiss. GRADE: C
THE DARK HALF
(George A. Romero, 1993)
I've been trying to watch this one for years. Either the DVDs I came across were broken (I was once sent a DVD from Netflix that was literally cracked in half) or were in the wrong format. I'm happy I finally got to watch it for its 30th anniversary, even if the Blu-ray I was watching froze halfway through. Luckily, it continued playing through. Timothy Hutton plays a writer who after being blackmailed decides to come out as the ghost writer or a series of trashy novels, only to find that his creation has now taken on a life of its own. Entertaining, but it has that problem that some of Stephen King adaptations have where they keep establishing rules for their universe, plus Hutton doesn't come off as particularly menacing as the alter ego. With the wonderful Amy Madigan, and genre faves Michael Rooker, Robert Joy, and Claire Bloom. GRADE: B-
EXTRATERRESTRIAL
(Colin Minihan, 2014)
I'm always down for an alien invasion/abduction film, and this is the first of two for this edition. It's the better one, which is like saying pissing your pants is better than shitting your pants. A group of obnoxious characters goes to a cabin in the woods where aliens soon arrive. The aliens and their spaceship are the typical kind seen in many movies, but luckily the effects aren't anywhere near as bad as they could be. Low budget, but not quite bad enough to be entertaining. A rather dull affair, though lead actress Brittany Allen has some talent and the Magnetic Fields needle drop was a nice touch. Also with an amusing Michael Ironside and Gil Bellows. GRADE: C-
HOUSE OF THE DEAD
(Uwe Boll, 2003)
My first Uwe Boll "film"! Notorious bomb in which a group of people go to the not-at-all ominous sounding "Isla del Morte" for a rave. (Is that all we were doing in the early aughts?) Once there, they find the place empty and destroyed, and soon they're joined by the undead. This is a bad movie, but it is kinda fun and Boll's direction is so ridiculous that at least its not a boring slog. For some reason, during the action set pieces we get inserts of the video game. Also, there is Matrix-y camerawork, which probably looked dated even by 2003. Definitely one to watch while on something. With Halloween 4 & 5's Ellie Cornell, and Clint Howard. GRADE: D
NIGHT SKIES
(Roy Knyrim, 2007)
Amusingly inept alien abduction film about a group of twentysomethings RV-ing near the site of 1997's Phoenix Lights. (Senator John McCain appears in news footage at the beginning, so this is probably one of Meghan's favorite films.) After engine trouble, they are stalked by a group of aliens (some extras in Party City costumes) and eventually abducted to the space craft (a set piece where it looks like they used half the Silly String in existence.) Horrible acting, horrible everything, but if you watch it as a comedy, you might enjoy yourself. With A.J. Cook, Joseph Sikora, and George Stults. GRADE: D
ROAD GAMES
(Richard Franklin, 1981)
Laid back Aussie thriller about an American trucker (Stacy Keach) hired to drive across the Outback who believes he's trailing a serial killer of young women. Director Franklin apparently was a Hitchcock disciple, as he went on to direct Psycho 2 two years after this. His deft direction, the film's off kilter sense of humor, and Keach's great character work make this a memorable hidden gem. It's a bit more leisurely paced than most American slashers of the era. With Jamie Lee Curtis, for the second time playing a young hitchhiker getting into trouble with a man twice her age. GRADE: B+
TERRIFIER
(Damien Leone, 2018)
Two friends find themselves stalked by a terrifying clown on Halloween night. A very simple premise for an otherwise brutal film, I decided to check this out after the sleeper success of last year's sequel. While I will probably eventually get around to watching that film as it is said to be a big improvement over this one, it's not too high on my list. The practical makeup effects are wildly impressive, but the pervasive gore just gets boring after awhile. I dug the Cat Lady, though! With David Howard Thornton in the titular role. GRADE: C
THE UNBORN
(David S. Goyer, 2009)
A young woman (Odette Yustman...Megan Fox?) finds out she had a twin brother who died in the womb, and now a malicious spirit is trying to take over her. And also something about the Holocaust. This film is trying to do a bit more than most of the remakes of the time, but it all ends up being the typical Woman Sees Spirits / Woman Investigates Spirit / Woman Stumbles Onto Conspiracy / Veteran Actors Try To Help Woman / Woman Is Too Stupid To Realize Twist / Everything Has a Bluish Tint. With Gary Oldman, Idris Elba, and Jane Alexander. GRADE: D+
WOULD YOU RATHER
(David Guy Levy, 2013)
A deranged millionaire (Jeffrey Combs) invites a group of desperate people to a dinner party where he makes them play sadistic rounds of "Would You Rather?" Guests have to make the choice of getting electrocuted, whipped, stabbed, and that's just for starters. I think some of the guests die a little too easy, even if we squirm at most of the situations being presented. The actors seem to struggle with the material, though Combs is a lot of fun. The party guests include Brittany Snow, John Heard, Enver Gjokaj, Sasha Grey, and June Squibb. GRADE: C+
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